On a recent P.A. Day I took my children out to a popular buffet restaurant for lunch. Their grandparents & cousins joined us so we had 4 adults and 5 children ages 6-12 in our group. Because it was a P.A. Day there were a lot of children in the restaurant along with the regular work crowd. As we were eating, a large party came in and were seated near us. Their party also had children that outnumbered the adults. A couple of the children in the party were excited and werenrunning around the table trying to find the "best" seat so they could sit beside their favourite friend/sibling/cousin. Their server (who was also serving our table) started to take their drink orders and said in a polite and concerned voice "Don't run, please". When he was ignored by the children (and also the adults at the table) he raised his voice slightly and said again, "Don't run, please - it is dangerous". One of the ladies, looking incredulously at him snapped back: "They are just children". The server then went on to apologize saying "Sorry, but it is dangerous to run because there are a lot of people walking around". The children seeing this rather embarrassing encounter unfold quickly took their seats while their parents were still giving the server evil eyes and muttering under their breaths.
Really? Where have all the manners gone? What are the adults teaching these children? Not only did they not reprimand their own children but had the nerve to feel offended by the server and defend their children! It is no wonder that a lot of people complain we are raising a bunch of entitled, spoiled, dependent children that are rude and have no respect for authority!
A few years ago we were having dinner with a group of friends at our local Swiss Chalet. We decided to have a "children's table" and an "adult's table". At the end of our meal our server complimented our children for being so well behaved. Not only did they order on their own, and helped each other out, they sat and talked and entertained themselves while the adults finished their meals. Yes, Swiss Chalet is a family restaurant that had colouring/activity papers to keep them busy. And yes, the meal only lasted a little over an hour, but we are talking about a bunch of 3 - 8 year olds. So a pat on the back to our group of friends.
Fast forward to this past Chinese New Year when my husband's family of 24 went to Dragon Legend Buffet to have dinner. It was a busy evening, the place was crowded, the wait staff were hustling, clearing tables, and getting drinks. As the evening ended, our server came by the "adults" table and mentioned how well behaved our children were - there were 12 of them ranging from ages 6 - 22 sitting together. She said they were so polite and weren't wasteful - they only got enough food that they could finish. They were having good conversation and weren't on their devices. They were truly enjoying each others company. I thanked her for the compliment and felt quite proud that my children were showing such good behaviour.
Is this what our social skills/etiquette is coming to? Are expectations so low that it is shocking when children are polite to servers, not wasteful, or not on electronic devices during a meal? Do parents not teach children to be engaging and enjoy the company they are with - and do they not set examples for their kids to follow? After thinking about it, I've decided that my children's behaviour isn't particularly outstanding - it is what I expect and it is the norm for us.
Y.C.
