M2 is a huge AGT fan. She made an AGT fan IG account (agt.fan2018) where she’ll post pictures, predictions, and comments on this year’s contestants - she’s even had a couple of the actual contestants “Like” and make comments on her fan page! My favourite contestant this year is a soloist, Michael Ketterer. He won’t win the competition, there are definitely other acts that are more “Vegas-worthy”, but he has made the final round. He’s only preformed 3 times but his soulful-country-rock vocals has really made an impact on the show, on social media, and on me!
For his latest performance in the semi-finals this week he sang “When I Look At You”. I had never heard this song before and at first I wasn’t feeling it as much as his previous 2 auditions when he sang “To Love Somebody” and “Us”. However the more I listen to it, the more I connect to the song - the lyrics are particularly meaningful to me. And when I first read through them I thought of my “inspirations” - The Big Oh & my beuatiful girls. Here are a couple of links to the lyrics and to the Semi-Final performance:
When I Look At You Lyrics
When I Look At You Michael Ketterer AGT Semi-Finals
I feel very lucky that I have beautiful inspirations to look to in my times of darkness - I hope you all can find your inspiration too.
Y.C.
Friday, September 14, 2018
Tuesday, August 7, 2018
A Few Good Men
I’ve thought about my funeral.
I’ve even talked about it with The Big Oh & my kids.
Not really in specific terms but more hypothetically speaking.
I know my friends & family will cry. They will be sad. Sad that I’m no longer here. Sad for what could have been.
But I hope amongst the sadness & tears there will be happy memories. There will be smiles & a sense of satisfaction that I made it so far.
There is one very specific thing that I’ve thought about for my funeral. I have thought about who my pall-bearers would be. I have been fortunate to know a few good men. Of course one of them is The Big Oh. He’s not perfect by far, but he’s perfect for me. And I know our girls love him with the admiration & respect he deserves. My daughters have many uncles & aunts from both my side & their dad’s side of the family. But when the time comes there are 5 very special men that I hope my daughters see by my side. They have never just been “Uncle So-And-So” . They are so much more than that. They are my brothers. They are my children’s surrogate-fathers. They’ve listened to The Big Oh & I complain. They’ve held back their tears & stayed strong for us when we’ve broken down and cried. These men have all helped hold our family together when it felt like our world was ending. When my girls look up at these men I hope they see the kindness, strength, patience, honour and love they possess. These men have set the bar high - examples to my children of what a friend, brother, husband and father should be. And I hope one day my girls will be as lucky as I am to have a few good men in their lives too.
Y.C.
I’ve even talked about it with The Big Oh & my kids.
Not really in specific terms but more hypothetically speaking.
I know my friends & family will cry. They will be sad. Sad that I’m no longer here. Sad for what could have been.
But I hope amongst the sadness & tears there will be happy memories. There will be smiles & a sense of satisfaction that I made it so far.
There is one very specific thing that I’ve thought about for my funeral. I have thought about who my pall-bearers would be. I have been fortunate to know a few good men. Of course one of them is The Big Oh. He’s not perfect by far, but he’s perfect for me. And I know our girls love him with the admiration & respect he deserves. My daughters have many uncles & aunts from both my side & their dad’s side of the family. But when the time comes there are 5 very special men that I hope my daughters see by my side. They have never just been “Uncle So-And-So” . They are so much more than that. They are my brothers. They are my children’s surrogate-fathers. They’ve listened to The Big Oh & I complain. They’ve held back their tears & stayed strong for us when we’ve broken down and cried. These men have all helped hold our family together when it felt like our world was ending. When my girls look up at these men I hope they see the kindness, strength, patience, honour and love they possess. These men have set the bar high - examples to my children of what a friend, brother, husband and father should be. And I hope one day my girls will be as lucky as I am to have a few good men in their lives too.
Y.C.
Thursday, June 28, 2018
My Current Song Choice
I think for most
people, songs need to grow on you. The
first few times you hear a new song, it’s not that good or just okay. But then after a while it starts getting
better and better. Then you end up
spending a whole afternoon listening to it on repeat. That happened to me quite often when I was in
high school – the time when I kept up with the latest tunes.
One time (at band
camp) I heard a song by Sally Yeh – Jook Fook (means to wish you good fortune). It was the #1 song in Hong Kong in 1988, but I didn’t like
it. Then in 1991 I saw it being sung
during the Miss Hong Kong pageant by a babe and it became one of my favourite
songs. It took 3 years – a record for how long it takes for a song to grow on me. Now that record has been broken, and Sally
Yeh is involved again. It’s a duet in
mandarin, with George Lam – her current husband, but they weren’t married when
they first sang it in 1993 (I think it came out in 1993). I didn’t think it was a good song at the
time. But now, 25 years later, I've listening
to it on repeat for the past week.
The reason is that I
can really identify with the lyrics.
They tug at my heartstrings. Since
it’s in mandarin, I wasn’t sure what all the words meant so I asked a friend to
help me translate it. The translation is
below and there is also a link to a YouTube video. A hundred of those views are probably from me
over the last week.
Usually when I
translate things, I like to translate the meaning but this time I’m going for a
more literal translation of the words.
This way, if you read it without hearing the song, you can translate it
back into Chinese and see how poetically powerful the lyrics are.
CHOICE
During the days when
the winds get stronger,
I smile as I watch the
flowers wilt.
During the season when
the snow is dancing,
I raise my glass to
the moon.
These kinds of feelings
This kind of road
We experienced them
together.
[I hope that you can love me until the earth is
old and the sky is barren.
I hope that you can accompany me to the corner
of the seas where they meet the edge of the sky.
Even if everything repeats itself
I would not change my decision.
I chose you.
You chose me.
I will certainly love you as long as the lasting
earth and the eternal heavens.
I will certainly accompany you until the seas
are dry and the rocks have eroded.
Even if I could go back into the past
That would still be my only decision.
I chose you.
You chose me.
This is our choice.]
Spring has left, autumn
is gone.
Bid farewell to today,
another tomorrow.
Day after day passes,
month after month, year after year.
Our hearts do not
change.
Repeat [ ]
I choose you.
You choose me.
This is our choice.
******************
Big Oh
Tuesday, June 26, 2018
Graduation #1
Today was M1’s graduation day.
I thought I would cry but I didn’t.
I was excited. I was relieved. I was thankful. I was proud. I was happy.
Not too long ago I had my doubts as to whether I’d see this day. And in the big picture of things - this thing called “life” - today is only a small part of it. But these days it’s the little things that matter most.
Y.C.
I thought I would cry but I didn’t.
I was excited. I was relieved. I was thankful. I was proud. I was happy.
Not too long ago I had my doubts as to whether I’d see this day. And in the big picture of things - this thing called “life” - today is only a small part of it. But these days it’s the little things that matter most.
Y.C.
Friday, June 15, 2018
Just A Couple Of Weeks
I’ve had a rough week. It’s been one of those weeks where every day is exhausting. By dinner time I feel like I’ve been treading water for eight hours and I’m using every ounce of energy just to keep my head above the water. I feel like I just want to close my eyes and go under - to let me body sink deep - so deep that I can’t see, hear, or feel anything that is going on around me. I know you’ve had this feeling too.
My exhaustion is usually a result of health. The exhaustion is physical but there is a huge mental/emotional aspect to it. Some days I have a good grasp of what is going on - I’m realistic and practical. I try to remain positive and count my many blessings. Some days I feel like I am drowning.
This week all three of my children have had a stressful week. Albeit these are only 8-13 year old stresses, but nonetheless my house has been in a state of highly charged emotions. I know I have difficulty calming their emotions when I don’t have a good handle on my own. But I try - like all of you out there - we try.
End of school year worries and woes have been plaguing M1 for a few weeks now and it finally culminated in a total after school meltdown this week. Hopefully that helped ease some of the built up anger, frustration & sadness that has been stewing inside her. And now that she had a chance to release the negative energy she can channel her positive energy to enjoying the remaining days left of school which includes her graduation.
M2 had a major school event that she helped organized, her annual track & field meet, and schoolwork & projects that were all due over the last couple of weeks. My perfectionist daughter always puts 110% in everything she does and is ill prepared for less-than-stellar results. She did well - she always does, but the stress of always needing to be on top of things can take its’ toil. Over dinner one night she also shed some tears. No - nothing to do with school work - it was because her friend said M2 was making her feel sad by being “better” friends with another girl. Here we go again with the pre-teen friendship problems (remember my posts about M1 and her friends)...We’ll just have to ride this out like the last one.
And of course my baby continues to test us. Test our boundaries. Test our love. Just as M1 is becoming more confident, M3 continues to need reassurance. I know a lot of her defiant, stubborn, sometimes even rebellious acts, is her search for her place in our family. It’s her way of being seen and heard in our often distracted life. I will be more patient. I will try harder - I promise.
And then there’s you. I haven’t forgotten about you. I know I put the needs of so many people before you. I know you feel like an afterthought on most days. I know you are stressed too. I know you are riding on an emotional rollercoaster and you feel you are riding it alone. I know what you are going through and you are not alone. I may not be able to get on and ride the rollercoaster with you but I’ll be right here when you get off. Just like how I know you’ll be waiting for me when I get out of the water.
Y.C.
My exhaustion is usually a result of health. The exhaustion is physical but there is a huge mental/emotional aspect to it. Some days I have a good grasp of what is going on - I’m realistic and practical. I try to remain positive and count my many blessings. Some days I feel like I am drowning.
This week all three of my children have had a stressful week. Albeit these are only 8-13 year old stresses, but nonetheless my house has been in a state of highly charged emotions. I know I have difficulty calming their emotions when I don’t have a good handle on my own. But I try - like all of you out there - we try.
End of school year worries and woes have been plaguing M1 for a few weeks now and it finally culminated in a total after school meltdown this week. Hopefully that helped ease some of the built up anger, frustration & sadness that has been stewing inside her. And now that she had a chance to release the negative energy she can channel her positive energy to enjoying the remaining days left of school which includes her graduation.
M2 had a major school event that she helped organized, her annual track & field meet, and schoolwork & projects that were all due over the last couple of weeks. My perfectionist daughter always puts 110% in everything she does and is ill prepared for less-than-stellar results. She did well - she always does, but the stress of always needing to be on top of things can take its’ toil. Over dinner one night she also shed some tears. No - nothing to do with school work - it was because her friend said M2 was making her feel sad by being “better” friends with another girl. Here we go again with the pre-teen friendship problems (remember my posts about M1 and her friends)...We’ll just have to ride this out like the last one.
And of course my baby continues to test us. Test our boundaries. Test our love. Just as M1 is becoming more confident, M3 continues to need reassurance. I know a lot of her defiant, stubborn, sometimes even rebellious acts, is her search for her place in our family. It’s her way of being seen and heard in our often distracted life. I will be more patient. I will try harder - I promise.
And then there’s you. I haven’t forgotten about you. I know I put the needs of so many people before you. I know you feel like an afterthought on most days. I know you are stressed too. I know you are riding on an emotional rollercoaster and you feel you are riding it alone. I know what you are going through and you are not alone. I may not be able to get on and ride the rollercoaster with you but I’ll be right here when you get off. Just like how I know you’ll be waiting for me when I get out of the water.
Y.C.
Another One Of Those Parenting Blogs...
It’s Friday. It’s the day I usually catch up on writing long emails or texts to friends or scrolling through my feed to find something interesting to read. It’s the day I need to find something to kill 3-4 hours of hospital waiting time. I read another parenting blog. And I wonder to myself, “Do parents really need to be reminded of these things?” It seems so obvious but after second thought, sometimes it the most obvious that we tend to overlook in our stressful, highly charged, jam-packed day. Here is the article I read today:
13 Habits That Raise Well Adjusted Kids
1) Boundaries
In my words “Rules & Respect”. I admit I really don’t have a lot of rules that are absolute. We believe that there can be exceptions to rules and we teach are children to adapt and be flexible to extenuating circumstances. The one thing the Big Oh & I do feel strongly about is being respectful to people, particularly older generation relatives, teachers, our friends. We have ingrained in our children that relatives & our friends need to be greeted & acknowledged when we see them and NOT by their first names! Unually ‘Auntie’ or ‘Uncle’ if the relationship is close or a Ms/Mr/Miss. And although conversations between children and adult family members & friends are encouraged my kids know they are not their “friends” and the dialogue must always remain respectful.
2) Routines
Let’s take routines one step further and include Traditions too. So important for my family. From the more mundane routines like showering every night before dinner, and snacks & homework right after school, to the “ fun” Saturday night badminton sessions and annual Christmas & Chinese New Year parties & dinners we are not short of routines & traditions. Routines and traditions means a safe place for them. These are assurances that whatever goes on in this sometimes crazy, chaotic and uncertain world there will always be things that they can count on or look forward to at home.
3) Early Bedtimes
Let’s just say we try our best at this one.
4) Empathy
This one is so hard to teach! I feel that empathy is almost unteachable unless the child is actually experiencing something (usually unpleasant or sad) which we can draw their feelings from. Does a 6 year old really know how it feels to be left out until he/she has been left out themself? Does an 11 year old know how it feels to see a loved one get sick or die until he/she has also has the same experience? As a parent you never want to see your child hurt or sad but it’s a right of passage for everyone.
5) Hugs
I hug my children all the time. I also hold their hands. I kiss them. And tell them I love them and am proud of them when they work hard to accomplish something. We also have the occasional “sleepovers” or play “musical beds” when a child has been watching a scary movie, has a nightmare, or maybe just because we feel like it. These things aren’t going to change anytime soon and I highly recommend it.
6) Playful Parents
I would say we’ve got a good grasp at playing with our kids but even the best of us need to be reminded to put the phone down and give our kids our undivided attention. And yes it’s hard - especially when it’s the umpteenth time playing Crazy 8’s!
7) Outdoor Time
How about “Unstructured Outdoor Time”. Often I’ll find M1 shooting baskets in the front, the other two riding their bikes, and now that spring is here I’m sure they’ll be asking to go to the park very soon. And they’re now old enough to go on their own - BONUS!!
8) Chores
My kids do chores. For those who think their kids can’t do it - THEY CAN! And if they don’t do as well as you would, well maybe not, but so what? That’s something I’ve learned and accepted out of necessity.
9) Screen Time Limits
Here’s another one where I don’t have set rules other than the very obvious no devices during meals. It is obvious, isn’t it?
10) Experiences (Not Things)
I think we do well on this aspect...the reason really is that we don’t have the money to buy a lot of expensive things. My children never had the latest gadgets or the trendy clothes. Now that the oldest is a teenager she really doesn’t ask for anything special.
11) Slow Moving Days
This goes hand-in-hand with #7 Outdoor Time. I’ve been know to tell my kids that “Today is a stay-home-do-nothing day”. Or another one of my favourites, “Learn to be bored - it’s good for you”. Or “I’m not playing with you today. Go find something to do yourself”. I don’t use these lines often but I agree slow moving days are a necessity in this hyper-active over-scheduled life we live.
12) Books To Read To Them
I love reading. I’ve loved it all my life and have read to my children since they were born. All my children are excellent readers and are turning out to be great writers too. Reading & writing well makes school work so much easier for them. I hope these skills will go beyond the school classroom setting.
13) Music
Only recently have I seen the benefits of early piano lessons for M1. And these benefits didn’t even materialize until after she stopped lessons for a few years. Music can be therapeutic, an outlet, a stress-reliever. I hope my younger ones will come to appreciate music and use it the same way M1 has.
Y.C.
13 Habits That Raise Well Adjusted Kids
1) Boundaries
In my words “Rules & Respect”. I admit I really don’t have a lot of rules that are absolute. We believe that there can be exceptions to rules and we teach are children to adapt and be flexible to extenuating circumstances. The one thing the Big Oh & I do feel strongly about is being respectful to people, particularly older generation relatives, teachers, our friends. We have ingrained in our children that relatives & our friends need to be greeted & acknowledged when we see them and NOT by their first names! Unually ‘Auntie’ or ‘Uncle’ if the relationship is close or a Ms/Mr/Miss. And although conversations between children and adult family members & friends are encouraged my kids know they are not their “friends” and the dialogue must always remain respectful.
2) Routines
Let’s take routines one step further and include Traditions too. So important for my family. From the more mundane routines like showering every night before dinner, and snacks & homework right after school, to the “ fun” Saturday night badminton sessions and annual Christmas & Chinese New Year parties & dinners we are not short of routines & traditions. Routines and traditions means a safe place for them. These are assurances that whatever goes on in this sometimes crazy, chaotic and uncertain world there will always be things that they can count on or look forward to at home.
3) Early Bedtimes
Let’s just say we try our best at this one.
4) Empathy
This one is so hard to teach! I feel that empathy is almost unteachable unless the child is actually experiencing something (usually unpleasant or sad) which we can draw their feelings from. Does a 6 year old really know how it feels to be left out until he/she has been left out themself? Does an 11 year old know how it feels to see a loved one get sick or die until he/she has also has the same experience? As a parent you never want to see your child hurt or sad but it’s a right of passage for everyone.
5) Hugs
I hug my children all the time. I also hold their hands. I kiss them. And tell them I love them and am proud of them when they work hard to accomplish something. We also have the occasional “sleepovers” or play “musical beds” when a child has been watching a scary movie, has a nightmare, or maybe just because we feel like it. These things aren’t going to change anytime soon and I highly recommend it.
6) Playful Parents
I would say we’ve got a good grasp at playing with our kids but even the best of us need to be reminded to put the phone down and give our kids our undivided attention. And yes it’s hard - especially when it’s the umpteenth time playing Crazy 8’s!
7) Outdoor Time
How about “Unstructured Outdoor Time”. Often I’ll find M1 shooting baskets in the front, the other two riding their bikes, and now that spring is here I’m sure they’ll be asking to go to the park very soon. And they’re now old enough to go on their own - BONUS!!
8) Chores
My kids do chores. For those who think their kids can’t do it - THEY CAN! And if they don’t do as well as you would, well maybe not, but so what? That’s something I’ve learned and accepted out of necessity.
9) Screen Time Limits
Here’s another one where I don’t have set rules other than the very obvious no devices during meals. It is obvious, isn’t it?
10) Experiences (Not Things)
I think we do well on this aspect...the reason really is that we don’t have the money to buy a lot of expensive things. My children never had the latest gadgets or the trendy clothes. Now that the oldest is a teenager she really doesn’t ask for anything special.
11) Slow Moving Days
This goes hand-in-hand with #7 Outdoor Time. I’ve been know to tell my kids that “Today is a stay-home-do-nothing day”. Or another one of my favourites, “Learn to be bored - it’s good for you”. Or “I’m not playing with you today. Go find something to do yourself”. I don’t use these lines often but I agree slow moving days are a necessity in this hyper-active over-scheduled life we live.
12) Books To Read To Them
I love reading. I’ve loved it all my life and have read to my children since they were born. All my children are excellent readers and are turning out to be great writers too. Reading & writing well makes school work so much easier for them. I hope these skills will go beyond the school classroom setting.
13) Music
Only recently have I seen the benefits of early piano lessons for M1. And these benefits didn’t even materialize until after she stopped lessons for a few years. Music can be therapeutic, an outlet, a stress-reliever. I hope my younger ones will come to appreciate music and use it the same way M1 has.
Y.C.
Friday, May 18, 2018
Hamilton
I did it.
I did something today that I didn’t think I could do. I didn’t dare to do.
But the stars were all aligned - it was meant to be. I bought tickets for the musical Hamilton. The show is in New York City. The date is in March 2019.
I’ve written about why I don’t make plans months in advance - I don’t need to go into that. Buying these tickets is a big step for me.
M1 is a song & dance fan. She can appreciate a good theatrical production & she has been wanting to see HAMILTON since she first found out about it. I love musicals. I’ve checked online & I’ve done my reasearch and it is impossible to buy from the original source unless you sign up in advance for pre-sale tickets. Even then, when new blocks of tickets are available you must pre-register for a lottery and only if you get chosen do you have a chance to actually purchase the tickets on a specified time & date.
I submitted my email address into the lottery a couple of months ago. Last week I was notified that a new block of tickets were going to be available for pre-sale today at 10:00am and if I was selected from the lottery I would be sent a special code a couple of hours before the sale time. I was travelling to a hospital appointment this morning when I got my code, and when 10:00 came around I can honestly say I haven’t been so excited about something in a very long time! After some technical glitches we were able to buy our tickets! Yeah!!!
When I was called into my appointment this morning around 10:30 I was still trying to finish my online ticket sale. The nurse had a nice laugh with me over my excitement but I had to quickly calm myself down. My blood pressure is always taken at these appointments and it was 185/105!!!
Today I am happy. It is a good day.
Y.C.
I did something today that I didn’t think I could do. I didn’t dare to do.
But the stars were all aligned - it was meant to be. I bought tickets for the musical Hamilton. The show is in New York City. The date is in March 2019.
I’ve written about why I don’t make plans months in advance - I don’t need to go into that. Buying these tickets is a big step for me.
M1 is a song & dance fan. She can appreciate a good theatrical production & she has been wanting to see HAMILTON since she first found out about it. I love musicals. I’ve checked online & I’ve done my reasearch and it is impossible to buy from the original source unless you sign up in advance for pre-sale tickets. Even then, when new blocks of tickets are available you must pre-register for a lottery and only if you get chosen do you have a chance to actually purchase the tickets on a specified time & date.
I submitted my email address into the lottery a couple of months ago. Last week I was notified that a new block of tickets were going to be available for pre-sale today at 10:00am and if I was selected from the lottery I would be sent a special code a couple of hours before the sale time. I was travelling to a hospital appointment this morning when I got my code, and when 10:00 came around I can honestly say I haven’t been so excited about something in a very long time! After some technical glitches we were able to buy our tickets! Yeah!!!
When I was called into my appointment this morning around 10:30 I was still trying to finish my online ticket sale. The nurse had a nice laugh with me over my excitement but I had to quickly calm myself down. My blood pressure is always taken at these appointments and it was 185/105!!!
Today I am happy. It is a good day.
Y.C.
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