Randomness

Recently I had a few friends who messaged me to chit-chat and some of the things we wrote about got me thinking.  Here are some of my random thoughts on random things....

Sometimes just getting good grades, or being the good, obedient one that follows all the rules, may not always get you the recognition you feel you deserve.  You need to promote yourself & your abilities, and be vocal about what you want instead of waiting around for someone to notice you.

Being vocal and speaking up doesn’t mean you have to be obnoxious - you can advocate for yourself and still be modest and likeable.

Normal, healthy, fourteen year olds should NOT be afraid to take public transit.

Our lives are so busy & filled with so much anxiety already.  There are so many things we “have” to do; in our limited free time when we do get to choose, we need to be selective and do things that will give us joy, or at the very least calmness.  When it is our free time, the only obligation we should have is to ourself - to be the best, healthiest, happiest person we can be.

The relationships we have doesn’t need to look like what society/culture/peers deems to be normal.  If the interactions are comfortable, not contrived, and everyone involved is content, then just accept that it is a normal and healthy relationship that is working for you right now.

When children mis-behave they need to be disciplined.   They need rules and punishments.  They need to know expectations, and they need to be accountable for their actions.   Children need predictability and when all of this is done with reasoning they will feel safe and loved.  Some children just need to be spanked.  And some need therapy.

Spend time with people that give you joy.  But it’s OK to say “no” to those same people once-in-awhile because we all need quiet time too.   Don’t be so insecure - I still love you!

Parents shouldn’t have to watch their children die.   Is it terrible of me to wish my parents die before I do?   Who even thinks about this stuff except me?

I see a lot of really sick people.  Seeing them reminds me how lucky I am to be alive, and reminds me that I could be a lot worse.  How wrong is that?  I’m using other people’s pain to console myself & make myself feel better.

Y.C.

New York - The Final Part

We’ve been home from New York for 2 weeks now and I finally have a bit of time and energy to finish our account of this trip.  I hope I remember all the details correctly!

On Tuesday March 12 (Day 4) we had the day planned to visit the Statue Of Liberty and the 9/11 Memorial & Museum.  We started with the Statue Of Liberty and it was a wet and windy day!  It was the only day we had ‘bad’ weather!  We took the ferry to the Statue Of Liberty and walked once around the base of the statue.  We didn’t even visit Ellis Island even though it was part of our paid ticket!  It was just too cold and windy!  After the Statue of  Liberty we walked about 10 blocks to the 9/11 Memorial & Museum.   It was a moving experience.  The kids saw photographs and artifacts of that day.  They asked us questions and we did our best to answer them.  I believe everyone should visit this place at least once.  So much to think about and reflect upon.  The one and a half hours we spent there just wasn’t enough, I could have easily stayed for another 2 hours.

We had made reservations for a restaurant Ivan Ramen on the recommendation of someone the Big Oh works with.  This restaurant was featured on the TV show Chef’s Table Season 3.  My girls & I opted for traditional soupy ramen which didn’t disappoint and the Big Oh had the Shoyu Tonkotsu which is a dry noodle dish.  We also had appetizers: Japanese Fried Chicken & Steamed Pork Buns - and those were delish too!  Unfortunately because of the timing of the dinner we missed the last bus back to the hotel so we had to take a cab - this was only realized after waiting 30 minutes at the bus stop!

Day 4 was another busy day and we were back to the hotel late.  We decided the next day would be a relaxing day with no schedule to follow.

Wednesday March 13 was our last day in New York City (Day5).  We decided to separate in the morning and meet back at the hotel in the late afternoon before our show.  The Big Oh took M1 & M3 on a guided tour of Madison Square Gardens which was just across the street from our hotel.  M2 & I strolled 5th Ave & did some shopping.  It was a good afternoon and after we met the family back at the hotel we even had some time to do some shopping at Macy’s on 5th Ave.  After the shopping we were off to our final show - ALADDIN!  It is definitely a family friendly show with lots of colourful costumes, high energy song & dance, and a familiar story we all loved.   I am so glad I picked this show for the family!  Tickets were not expensive by Broadway standards and we got amazing orchestra level seats.  After the show we had a late dinner at John’s Pizzeria but we felt it was too late for a pizza so we just enjoyed some appetizers and salads.

On the way back to the hotel we passed by Carlo’s Bakery on 8th Ave.  This is the one of the locations outside New Jersey where the original Cake Boss from the TLC network made famous.  I went in to see if I could purchase some desserts but quickly exited when I saw the line up was snaked around 4 or 5 lines deep (probably a 30-45 minute wait).  I didn’t want cake THAT badly - maybe next time!

Day 6 was a travel day.  Everyone couldn’t wait to get home so we cut our stops short, just stopping for gas and to stretch our legs.  My MIL was waiting at home with a nice home cooked meal.  We are so blessed - we had a lovely trip, spending some quality time with our children, but I’ve always said, “The best part of going on vacation is coming home.”

Y.C.

Lights, Camera, And...Magic

Day 3: A ton of walking today.   It must be the adrenaline or the energy of the city but I haven’t walked this much in one day in years!  I’m worried I’ll be paying for it when we return home!

After a quick breakfast in the hotel room we walked the 25 minutes to NBC Studio.  Unfortunately there were no photos or video taking allowed and for the $39 price tag it was a bit short - just under an hour.  We toured the NBC newsroom & the Saturday Night Live set and no, we did not see
any celebrities while we were there.  At the end of the tour some of the group got to participate in a “taping” of a mock talk show - which could be fun for kids but seemed a bit juvenile/silly for the adults.  Everyone in the tour got a digital copy of the clip as a souvenir.

The afternoon started a bit rocky with M1 feeling queasy.  My kids don’t fare well when they have to eat a lot of restaurant food/fast food/take-out.  I like to think it’s because we feed them clean, nutrious home cooked meals regularly so they can’t stomach a lot of preservatives, salt, sugars and grease.  M1 ended up spending the entire afternoon in the hotel room with the Big Oh while I took M2 & M3 on a bus ride to Chinatown.   My SIL gave us a recommendation for a good noodle place from her fam in NY and it was a hit with the 3 of us - almost as good as what is served in TO.  By the time we returned to Times Square it was already past 5:00pm.  Our plan was to catch a 7:00pm magic show at the LOL Comedy Club so we decided to have the Big Oh & M2 meet us there instead of having us return to the hotel first.  The club itself is in the heart of Times Square, up a dark flight of narrow stairs.   The room was pretty basic: it was dark, with cafeteria chairs, & small tables to put drinks on, a small stage, and everything was packed together so tightly to try to get as much audience in as possible - M1 kept saying she was scared because it looked “sketchy”.  And it didn’t help that this place was near empty on a Monday night.   Only 20 of us in the audience.  But the two magicians didn’t let the small size of the group affect them, and were very entertaining and the kids even got to participate in one of the tricks.  After the show M3 went to ask how one of the tricks was done and the magician  Eric Walton stayed and talked to us and even did a few more close up card tricks for just my family (he never did tell us how the trick was done).  In the end even M1 agreed it was a good show.

By the time we left the show it was getting close to 9:00pm and Times Square was a buzz.  With all the lights and billboards you couldn’t even tell it was nighttime!  The atmosphere at night is definitely different than during the day.  We had to walk about 30 minutes back to our hotel.  Our curious family were soaking in the sights and sounds of the street performs and quickly realized that if we looked too interested in what they were doing we would become prime targets for their hustle - which is exactly what happened.  There were a group of young street dancers and we stopped to watch and clap along - next thing we knew The Big Oh was pulled in along with a few other men to “help” with a stunt they were going to perform.  And this is when the speil and bags came out asking for tips & donations before they would finished the show - they even asked for $20 minimum!  But that’s OK.  I figure this is their job & this is how they make their livelihood plus they were pretty funny & entertaining.  When we left this performance not 10 steps away we were approached by a singing performer who thrust a self made CD into the Big Oh’s hand and in about 20 seconds convinced him to “help support the music he loves making with a few dollars or change” and even signed the CD!  I left thinking that it could be a blank CD for all we know!  We were continually being accosted as we walked but after 2 incidents we now knew we had to walk fast and a polite and firm “No, thank you” is all you need to say.

I didn’t realize how tired I was until got back to the hotel.  We are all going to sleep in and even though we have things planned, we won’t be following s schedule and just take it easy tomorrow.
Y.C.

Day 2: Hamilton

Day 2: We got to sleep in - well, not really.  Daylight savings time kicked in overnight so we actually loss an hour.  For lunch today M1 chose this one for their selection of cheesecakes -  Junior’s Cheesecake Restaurant.   It was very busy when we arrived at 11:00 but we didn’t wait long.  While we were perusing the menu we noticed the large portions coming out to the other tables so we decided to dine “Family-style” and ordered a sandwich, a pasta entree, a cheeseburger from the kids menu, a Cesar salad, and a side order of chicken wings which we still couldn’t finish!

Today’s event is the highlight of our trip here.  M1, M2 and I headed to Richard Rodgers Theatre to watch HAMILTON after lunch.  The theatre is in the heart of Broadway and had all the charm you’d see in an older theatre.  Even though we paid a mini-fortune, our seats were in the rear mezzanine, but we weren’t disappointed - we were excited to be there.  The story, the music, the actors and singers all lived up to the Hamilton hype that is still going strong after 4 years on stage.

While the big girls and I were enjoying Hamilton, the Big Oh & M3 spent the afternoon at the American Girl flagship store at Rockefeller Centre.  The store has a cafe where you can make reservations for afternoon tea surrounded by all things American Girl.  There was fruit & veggies, a couple of small desserts, and a couple of finger sandwiches.  For a price tag of $23 for a “themed” event I felt it was a reasonable price to pay.  The Big Oh and I had discussed whether or not to purchase a doll, or were they strictly going for the experience - in the end, the Big Oh couldn’t resist and not only bought a doll but a basketball outfit and some other accessories which M3 wasn’t expecting and was clearly ecstatic!

We met up in the early evening & headed back to the hotel to relax and get ready for dinner.  M3 couldn’t wait to show us her doll, the pictures, and tell us about her afternoon.  Before we knew it, it was already 8:00.  We all agreed we weren’t hungry and just wanted a small snack without having to go too far - so it was Taco Bell for dinner tonight!

Y.C.

Start Spreading The News....

And so our March Break vacation begins.   We didn’t go anywhere all last year.  The year before we did a “Staycation”.   Three years ago we drove to our nation’s capital, so why not take a leap of faith and DOUBLE the driving time this year and visit the city that never sleeps!   

DAY 1: 6:00am wake-up call & we’re off!   The first 3 1/2 hours was pretty uneventful.  Kids mostly slept while we drove to the boarder and headed towards NYC.  Our first stop was shortly after 10:00am at Waterloo Premium Outlet in Seneca County, NY.   We did a bit of shopping and had a bite to eat and we were off again.  It was a perfect March day for driving - above seasonal temperatures, clear skies and no traffic at all - beautiful!  We had to make 3 more stops before getting into NYC and we ALMOST made it the entire way without any kid getting sick but the last hour was just too much for M3.  What was suppose to be a 10 minute drive thru Lincoln tunnel to our hotel on 8th Ave & 35th St lasted 45 minutes.  Fortunately M2 (or maybe unfortunately for M2) had a plastic bag ready when the cheesy bacon fries came hurling out.

The hotel, while quite dated, is a two room suite with two double beds, a pull out sofa bed, and two full bathrooms to accommodate the 5 of us.  And the price, by NY standards, is considered very reasonable.   But the hallways, carpet, walls & washrooms just look old and in need of a fresh update.  I think if we visit again I would splurge and pay for a newer hotel.  

It was almost 8:00pm before we ventured out to find some dinner.   There are many good options to choose from and we only walked 3-4 blocks.  We settled for ramen at Tabata.  Not bad, but the consensus was Sansotei back home was still better.  

Y.C.

Everyone Needs A Tribe

This is an except from a piece that came up in my FB feed today...Thanks to the beautiful, smart, supportive women in my “Tribe”.

“Behind every successful woman is a tribe. A tribe of other women who support her and love her and push her to be her absolute best but stick by her even when she’s at her absolute worst. A tribe of other women who could choose to compete, but take the higher, better road of collaboration instead. A tribe of other women who don’t just fix her crown, but also bend down to pick it up and dust it off when it’s fallen off. A tribe of other women who refuse to get jealous. Who refuse to compare. Who refuse to belittle or go low. Who refuse to gossip, or leave out, or hurt just to watch her crumble under the pressure.

A tribe of women who tell the truth. When it’s hard. When it’s easy. When it’s uncomfortable. When a lie would be the simpler road to travel.

A tribe of women who pick her up and put her back on her feet when she’s gone off-course. A tribe of women who have the courage to encourage her. A tribe of women who have the strength to strengthen her.

A tribe of other women who have her back, and her front, and her side, and her soul, and her spirit, and her heart, and her best interest in mind.” (Credit: This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Amy Weatherly.)

Y.C.

Burn The House Down?

The past few days my family has been dealing with a very stressful situation at home (which had nothing to do with my ongoing health problems, thank goodness).  As my children (and The Big Oh ) are freaking out I am trying to explain (convince) to them there are two immediate ways of looking at this problem.   One way is to panic and get upset & angry and think “Why does all the shit happen to me?  Why aren’t we getting a break? And why is god making my life so difficult?”   - All of these said by various members of my family at some point over the weekend.  I guess this would be the normal reaction under our circumstances.

I decided to attack this problem differently.   You see, I already have a terrible terminal disease.  What can be worse than that?  And even with unpromising test after test, and knowing my body is slowly deteriorating, I am still getting up everyday.  I can still talk to my children while I make breakfast & pack their lunches.  I am up & alert when they come home and tell me about their school day.  I can comb their long beautiful hair out for them before we tell bedtime stories & go to sleep.  Considering all that I’ve, WE’VE, been through there is nothing we can’t handle and fix together!  So the last few days has been a military-like methodical approach to fix our problem and get back to normal.  And finally yesterday night we were able to breathe a little easier knowing that we are on the right track and everything will be back to normal soon.

The last few days we’ve talked about resilience.  How each of us deals with problems, and how we “bounce back” from them.   We’ve talked about empathy - how we have treated others in the same situation, and how we are being treated now.  We talked about educating ourselves and knowing what are facts and what are urban myths or unnecessary hysterical behaviour - all of which we experienced in a mere 48 hours.

So whatever else’s in store for my family - BRING IT ON!

Y.C.