false

Last night M3 and I were looking at photos on my tablet.  We were in bed and had already read a bedtime story but she asked to look at some pictures so I said yes.  After a few "last one's" I finally turned off the tablet and said "No - time to sleep".  Well she didn't want to and she just lost it on me.  Complete with wailing and screaming "I'M NOT DONE YET...I'M NOT TIRED!" and flopping around in bed like a fish out of water!  Of course she's tired - it's already past her usual bedtime.  But it's summer holidays and we don't have to get up early.  It would have been so easy to give in and let her have her way even though I had already said no but I stood my ground.  I lay beside her and watched her, and after a few minutes her eyes started to get droopy and her crying had quieted a bit - she was falling asleep.  I wiped her wet cheeks and gave her a kiss and told her I loved her.  She asked with her eyes closed "Can we look at pictures tomorrow?", and I answered her yes - but I'm not even sure she heard me.

Saying "Yes" to children is so much easier for parents.  It's fast.  It makes the kids happy.  It makes them LIKE you.  On the other hand, saying "No" requires energy and effort.  No is usually followed by some crying, pleading, wailing, or negotiating depending on the age of the child (sometimes all of the above).  It also requires explaining.  I've learned that I just can't say "No".   I have to give them a reason/explanation (and "Because I say so" doesn't work).   Doing this legitimizes my no and in turn it makes it easier for my children to accept it.  It also lays groundwork for future requests.  My children respect my decisions.  And as I see with my older girls, they respect and love me, even though I say no to them.