Making The World A Little Less Scary

"Risk builds confidence. They don't have to be big risks. Just something that was a little scary or hard to do before it happened".

I read this in an article today.  It was written by a mother who wants to be the opposite of a "helicopter" parent.  This mother writes that she is teaching her children to "confidently navigate independent situations".  And I couldn't agree more.  As I am writing this, my 11 year old is at a friend's house doing a project for school.  She walked there after school with a couple of friends (without adult supervision) and we agreed that she would walk home at 5:30 on her own.  Even though it is a short 3 blocks in a suburban residential neighbourhood, I know for certain there would be more than one grade 6 parent who would question my judgement for allowing my child to do this.

The decisions I make regarding how much responsibility & independence I allow my children is based on my child's level of maturity and my own personal experiences and expectations.  Walking home from school or to a friend's house, placing an order at a restaurant, navigating around the library & checking out books, and taking care of younger siblings at the park are all tasks I expect my 9 & 11 year old to be responsible enough to do on their own.  As well, I expect them to ask for help in situations where they feel they cannot handle.  And only by allowing them to try will they get practice at all of the above.

Recently a good friend of mine had a very dangerous situation happen between her 8 year old child & a stranger in a public restroom.  The incident left our group friends questioning the safety in our community and vowing not to let our children out of our sights until they reach adulthood.  But is that really the best way to react.  No. Realizing the absurdity in our initial knee-jerk reaction, I decided to talk to my children about safety in public places like shopping malls, parks, and community centres and what to do when approached by strangers who they feel uncomfortable being around.

I know there are a lot of scary things in the world that I must protect my children from.  But I think rather than protecting them from everything I possibly can, I'd like to give them the tools so that are confident & find this world a little less scary.

YC