Safe

I am at my monthly doctor's appointment today.  On good days it is just another minor inconvenience, but on others, it turns me into a nervous wreck - heart palpitations all day, insomnia for the proceeding week, and all the worst possible scenarios playing out in my mind over & over until I almost cannot tell the real from the imagined.

It is also March Break.  So along with having to deal with these appointments and the wave of emotions & feelings that come with it, I have 3 school age children at home who have been trying to "play nicely" with each other - yesterday they made slime by themselves (without too much yelling & screaming) and they even cleaned up the mess they made on their own - definitely a successful day!

Today they are bowling with their cousins & they'll be with them again on Friday when I am back to do part 2 of my appointment.  My kids are close to all their cousins, but are particularly so with this family.  They are close in age and they go to the same school.  They have lots to talk about & will play board games, video games, watch movies, and we'll even go on vacation with them.  Besides the obvious help of taking care of my children when I am at my appointments, my extended family provides something even more important.  For me, it is knowing that my kids are taken care of, they are having fun & are distracted, when I am not able to do that for them.

My children know why I have these monthly appointments at the hospital.  Our family schedule & their social activities must be planned around me.  It could be a very stressful time for them too but I think we do a good job at creating as much normalcy as possible.  I think my children know that outside of our immediate family, there is always going to be another place for them, with their aunts & uncles, cousins & grandparents, where they can feel safe & loved.

Y.C.