Making The World A Little Less Scary

"Risk builds confidence. They don't have to be big risks. Just something that was a little scary or hard to do before it happened".

I read this in an article today.  It was written by a mother who wants to be the opposite of a "helicopter" parent.  This mother writes that she is teaching her children to "confidently navigate independent situations".  And I couldn't agree more.  As I am writing this, my 11 year old is at a friend's house doing a project for school.  She walked there after school with a couple of friends (without adult supervision) and we agreed that she would walk home at 5:30 on her own.  Even though it is a short 3 blocks in a suburban residential neighbourhood, I know for certain there would be more than one grade 6 parent who would question my judgement for allowing my child to do this.

The decisions I make regarding how much responsibility & independence I allow my children is based on my child's level of maturity and my own personal experiences and expectations.  Walking home from school or to a friend's house, placing an order at a restaurant, navigating around the library & checking out books, and taking care of younger siblings at the park are all tasks I expect my 9 & 11 year old to be responsible enough to do on their own.  As well, I expect them to ask for help in situations where they feel they cannot handle.  And only by allowing them to try will they get practice at all of the above.

Recently a good friend of mine had a very dangerous situation happen between her 8 year old child & a stranger in a public restroom.  The incident left our group friends questioning the safety in our community and vowing not to let our children out of our sights until they reach adulthood.  But is that really the best way to react.  No. Realizing the absurdity in our initial knee-jerk reaction, I decided to talk to my children about safety in public places like shopping malls, parks, and community centres and what to do when approached by strangers who they feel uncomfortable being around.

I know there are a lot of scary things in the world that I must protect my children from.  But I think rather than protecting them from everything I possibly can, I'd like to give them the tools so that are confident & find this world a little less scary.

YC

First Day Of My Vacation

Yesterday I went to Universal Studios in Florida with my family.   I went on a Simpson's Ride, a Harry Potter Ride, a E.T. Ride, a Woody's Woodpecker Ride, and watched a Shrek Movie.

I saw Spongebob, Patrick, & a Transformer Bumblebee.  I had so much fun.   My sister got a wand.  We went to Olive Garden for dinner.  Then we came back to my mom's Auntie C.'s condo.

The condo is cool.   It is fancy and you can pull the TV to the sofa so you could watch TV on the sofa.   There's also a kitchen TV and there is a special remote for it.

Tomorrow we are going on a cruise with my mom's friend and their kids.   I will write more about it tomorrow.

Amazing Blog Site I Want To Share

During the last little while I have been trying to lead a more meaningful life.  A more grateful life.  I slow down and try to really think about what makes me happy,  what I want to spend my money on, and who I want to spend my time with.  Recently I've been inspired to take this up to whole new level!

This week I accidentally came across a blog written by a Canadian ex-pat who currently lives in the U.S.  I thought it was a blog about some guys' experience with his personal finance, investments he made, and his magic formula for 'early-retirement'.  Dime a dozen, lots of stuff out there like this; any ding-a-ling can write a blog, see I'm doing it!  But after 3 days of reading (starting at his first entry) I must say it is life changing.  How do I describe it? I think it is best if you discover it yourself.   Here is the blog site:

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/

I started reading from the first post dated April 2011. After a week of reading I'm only about 6 months into this blog - there is still a lot of reading to go but I am excited to put into practice some of the things I am learning.  More importantly though, it is not just my actions I want to change, but a 'mindset', a way of living, a way of being I hope to accomplish.

Friends, will you join me on this journey?
Y.C.

A Day In The Life Of M3

At school I like to play with V*** and K*** and S*** and E*** and M*** and O*** and J***.  I can do lots of things for Ms. S.  Ms. S lets me help her.  I really like school.  School seems like it is fun because I like to play with people.  I play Lego sometimes.  I play blocks sometimes with K*** and V***.  At the end of the day me and V*** and J*** sit together at our cubbies because our cubbies are beside each of other.

My grandpa picks me up from school.  My cousins come to my school.  My sisters are M1 and M2.  I like playing its my cousins and sisters.  My cousins are C and N.  My school is named W*** Public School.  When I come home I eat a snack.  After I eat a snack I play with one of my cousins and one of my sisters.  Sometimes both of my sisters go to dance but sometimes I go to dance too.  When I go to dance my grandma brings me to my studio and she picks me up.  My studio is called A*** Dance Studio.  I take acro classes.  I like to eat fruits and vegetables because they are healthy for you.  I like to write notes to people.  When I write notes sometime I tell them about me and also I ask questions and tell them about my day.

I eat dinner with my family.  I sit at a table and we eat healthy food for dinner because my grandma makes healthy food.  She makes cauliflower and broccoli and rice.  My favorites food is fish.  My uncle Pepe makes me good food that I like which is "doke mein".

After dinner I shower and my dad helps me brush my teeth and change.  And sometimes I do workbooks with my mom and sometimes I play checkers with my mom.  Every night my mommy reads with me and my mom lies with me before I fall asleep.  My mommy lets me keep her old pajamas to sleep with and sometimes I carry it around.

M3

Stand By You

One of the benefits of my girls dancing is that I get to know & hear songs I wouldn't normally listen to.  I recently heard a song that resonated with me immediately.  When I first heard it I thought what a great song to describe a mother-to-daughter bond!  The song is called 'Stand By You" by Rachel Platten.  Here is a youtube link to it:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-urmcz2RSwI

After listening to it a few times and reading over the lyrics I realized that this is not just a 'mother-daughter' song.   The lyrics to this song made me think of my friends, my siblings & my brother/sister-in-laws, and The Big Oh.

I was driving home from an appointment the other day and as soon as I started the car this song was just starting to play on the radio.  I felt like it was a sign.  I was overcome with emotion - happiness, strength, peace, gratitude....

"Hands, put your empty hands in mine
And scars, show me all the scars you hide
And hey, if your wings are broken
Please take mine 'till yours can open, too
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you.

Oh tears, make kaleidoscope in your eyes
And hurt, I know you're hurting but so am I
And love, if your wings are broken
Borrow mine 'till yours can open, too
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you."

Sometimes just hearing a song can make an average day turn into a beautiful one.  Thank you for standing by me.

Y.C.

Big Oh's Top Ten List of 2015

Just so you know, my wife and I come up with our lists independently.  Then we compare to see what we have in common.  We are not allowed to revise our list unless it's a special exception.  I think this only happened once or twice.  This year there were no revisions.

10) Family events like BBQs and Christmas parties and our trip to Niagara Falls - just hanging out with them and staying up late.

9) Peaceful and joyful activities with my wife and daughters like the 2000 piece puzzle and playing Hollywood Game Night.

8) Watching Star Wars with my girls.

7) Attending Pan-Am torch relays where my brother and sister were torch bearers.

6) Trip to Great Wolf Lodge.

5) Watching my daughters at dance competitions.

4) Seeing M3 grow up - she finally listens to me now and she had her first dance performance on stage - although, she just smiled and waved at us.

3) M1 and M2 perform a duet together.

2) My three daughters.

1) My amazing and beautiful wife.

Happy New Year!

Big Oh

Happiness - A Consequence Of Personal Effort

I have been writing a lot lately.  I write on this blog when I feel like sharing.  There are also writings I keep personal when I don't want to share (yet).  This year I started 3 journals - one for each of my daughters.  I usually write about things we've done, how I felt, what I observed about them.  Sometimes there will be a life lesson on family, friendship, or themself.  In reading these entries I've realized that sometimes crisis can turn out to be trivial & humorous in the end.  Other times, what I originally wrote to be small & insignificant can have a profound meaning a few months later.  I hope my daughter's see this & understand this.  I don't know when I will give these journals to them.  I have a feeling I will know when the time is right.

I read this on the internet today:

"When I say that happiness is a consequence of personal effort, this is kind of thing I'm talking about. I'm talking about showing up, paying attention to the instances of good fortune in your life, putting a spotlight on the small good things, and creating a body of evidence that you are (on ALL days) brushing up against grace.

Look for it, and you'll find it. "

This reminded me of something my friend L.W. gave me a couple of years ago.  It was a box that was filled with pretty pieces of paper. On each one she hand wrote something to 'cheer me up'.  I read through all of them at least once - I think it's time to re-read them.  Or better yet, create my own notes - I will write down something good, happy, fortunate that happened that day.  It can be as trivial as getting a great parking spot in a crowded mall, trying a new restaurant, or spending some quality time with friends or family.  I will start with this one:

Sleeping in on a Saturday morning.  To be awaken by M2 & M3 coming into our bed for some snuggling time.

Wishing all our family & friends a happy healthy 2016 !

YC