My Frist Blue Jays Game

Yesterday after my sister and I went to summer school my mom took us downtown to pick up my dad.  We went to have dinner at Jules Bistro it was my mom's birthday.  My mom got tuna salad my dad got the same thing but in a sandwich.  My sister got a Croque Monsieur.  I got Saute du Poulet. For dessert we had Chocolate Mousse , Crème Brule and my dad brought a Tiramisu cake.  We sang a Chinese song and we sang Happy Birthday.

After dinner we went to Rogers Centre to watch a baseball game.  We took a picture in front of a Blue Jay.  The Blue Jays played Oakland and we won 4-1.  We also had ice cream.  We left at  the 8th  inning.  I fell asleep on the car ride home.

M3

Past

I received a text last Monday.  It was from a high school friend.  She lives halfway across the world now and she was in town.  When she first left Canada we were in our twenties and we would email one another often.   We managed to keep in touch for a few years sharing breakups, new jobs, new relationships, and when she returned for a visit 11 years ago she came to visit me & my new babies.    But of course we got busy.  Marriage, children, juggling work and family life - we had to be present for the relationships we were working on daily.  And you know what?  It's OK.

We met up.  Had a really great lunch.  Talked about some old times.  Shared where we are now, and where we hope to be headed.

I'm always talking about making the most of today - reminding myself not to think too far ahead and enjoying every moment that I have with my family & friends.  But she reminded me that I had a past.  She reminded me that my past is just as important as the "now" and it is these past people, and experiences with them, that have shaped who I am today.

Thank you for a lovely afternoon E.C.  I hope it won't be 11 years before we see each other again.

Y.C.

Another Re-Charge

Time again for another re-charge.
This time I didn't go far.  Just a short drive out of the city.
Laughs, girly chatter, good food and some quiet time in between.
I would say it was just right.
Just what I needed after a busy spring and heading into another busy summer.

Missed you P.T & N.L.  But we are saving you a room in October 2018 (hopefully back to Florida)!

Y.C.

They'll Be OK

June has been a busy month (which month isn't, really?)! 

M2 had a lot going on.  She started the month with her ballet exams.  My girls love their jazz and acro routines but there is something special about ballet that I can't explain.  They are so graceful yet their bodies are so strong.  Their muscles defined and the power they have in their jumps and turns always puts a huge smile on me.  I feel that the time and effort (and money) we put in this extra-curricular activity really does pay off in so many ways. 

Next she switched focused to track & field finals.  Last year she did high jump and did very well and she was looking forward to it again this year.  She went to all the early morning practices and it paid off.  She was first in her age group at school and got to represent it at Area finals which she also placed first in.   Then it was off to Regional finals.  Last  year she placed third in Regionals and although she didn't fare as good this year she beat her own personal best.

Early in May we had sent in a video audition of her dance routine for a local talent contest.  To our surprise she was one of 15 finalists invited to the live audition in mid-June.  We only had a week's notice and so for that week we were busy scheduling in some practice time.   I have to admit I was a nervous wreck.  I hope my daughter didn't notice it.  I was nervous for my child - I didn't know how she would handle the pressure of an open audition talent show.  There were a lot of unexpected variables and I wasn't sure how my 10 year old would deal with them.  For example, the stage was a lot smaller than what she was accustomed to, she was one of the last performers and didn't take the stage until 10pm, and her competitors were of all ages and vocalists & instrumentalists - a lot different from the dance competitions she's used to.  But you know what?  She held her own!  She didn't win, but she gave an excellent performance.  She was gracious, she was proud of her achievement, and she was happy!  What more could I ask for?

Once again my children surprise me.  I am so busy with our daily routines that I don't notice how much my children are growing up.  Only when a special event, a new challenge or a new experience comes along do I notice that they can do a lot more than I thought or expected.   It is those times I can reflex and bask in knowing that the Big Oh & I are doing a good job and our kids will be OK.

Y.C.

Be Still

Oh so much I want to write!  Where to begin?  What to write?  How much can you (all 8 of you) handle?

Let's start where I left off last.  I hate social media.  Currently my favorite one to hate on: Snapchat.  I think it's stupid.  Admittedly I'm a Facebook user and I also have an Instagram account - both of which I post on sparingly, maybe once a month or even less.  I use social media to see what my friends and family are up to.  Sometimes I'll "Like" a photo, or pass on a really interesting (legitimate) article, opinion, blog, etc...  But Snapchat?  What's the point?  To show a group of people, you may or may not know, where you are, what you're doing, who you're with for that 20 seconds (not even sure if this is correct) in time.  There is no background, no context, no time or space for anything helpful or descriptive!  But hey, I'm 43 years old, so a lot of things seem stupid to me.

Next on my list: Home renovators/contractors.  Ugh!  I'm currently sitting at home waiting for a guy to start some ceiling work in my house.  It all started a month ago.  I got a good referral from my brother-in-law.  This contractor finished his basement a few years ago and my BIL has since referred a few jobs to him.  I was warned up front: He is honest, charges a good price, but he has his own concept of time.  I met him and we agreed on the job and he said he could start "next week" and he would call me the day before he'd start.   Well, a week came and went with no call from him.  I guess in his alternate time-line next week could mean "next week", but it could also mean 3 weeks later.  I accepted this and now, 3 weeks later, I am sitting here waiting for him to show up.  Last Saturday I asked him if he was planning on starting work this week.  He said "Thursday".   Well he didn't say WHICH Thursday....

Yesterday, I used a Facebook Buy & Sell page for the first time.  And I sold $43 worth of stuff in about 24 hours!  Woohoo!  I'm not sure what I'm more happy about: the $43 or the fact that I got rid of 8 board games/activity kits that my kids no longer play with (some of them with missing pieces - which I fully disclosed)!  I sold items to 2 different people.  Both live in my neighbourhood and I met them at a local mall.  The encounters were pleasant, it was convenient and there was no haggling/negotiating on the spot - which I heard can be the case even when a price had been agreed upon in advance online.  I'll definitely do it again.

I was still on my $43 high when I was blindsided by another meltdown by M3.  I came home and she was already bawling about how her sisters wouldn't draw her a heart before they left for dance class.  NO ONE was allowed to draw her a heart except her two sisters who weren't home, and she ABSOLUTELY could not wait until they got back.  It was one of her tantrums that after 10 minutes she wasn't crying about the heart anymore but somehow had gone off on a tangent: I didn't understand her, no one wants to help her, she always gets left out, and no one loves her.   I try.  I really do try.  I always start off calm and patient.  Re-assuring her.  Trying to talk her through her anger & frustrations.  But once again, it ends with me yelling, screaming, threatening, begging, and finally crying with her.

That was yesterday.  Today has just begun.  And I'm still waiting for that contractor to show up...

Y.C.

P.S.  The title doesn't mean anything.  Couldn't think of a clever title for this blog - Be Still is M1's solo dance this year - check it out on my FB page if you haven't seen it yet!
 

12 Year Old Problems

Yesterday one of my daughters saw a picture on social media of a group of her friends having dinner.  The dinner turned out to be a birthday party.  My daughter and the group are all on the same "team" of an extra-curricular activity.  It turns out that along with my daughter, two other members of the team were also not invited.  So most of the evening consisted of the 3 of them lamenting on why they weren't invited.  After her initial outburst from being left out had cooled down, I had a chance to talk to my daughter about it.  I am not at all upset that my child wasn't invited.  I explained to my daughter that the birthday girl had invited friends that she felt close to - there were other invitees who were from different social groups as well.  I'd like to think that the criteria for who to invite or not to invite was not "I don't like her so I'm not going to invite her", but rather, "Who are my closest friends."  I think my daughter understands, but it's still a hard pill to swallow nonetheless (especially for a 12 year old).

Today the same daughter was at another party.  Shortly after she got home she got a text message from a friend who was not invited to the party asking her where she was today and if she went ****.   Obviously someone must have posted a picture of the party on social media.

Our daughter was distressed and wanted advice on how to respond.  She just experienced how it felt to be left out less than 24 hours ago so she can empathize how her friend must be feeling.  She also feels guilty about going to the party.  Our advice to her was to tell the truth, but to also acknowledge that she felt sorry that the friend wasn't there.

And THIS is why I hate social media!

I did have a fleeting impulse to confront the parents involved however I have decided that this is not something parents need to get involved in.  Parents should remain a healthy distance from their children's friendships.  Children need to learn how to navigate through tough situations, and how to identify, establish and nurture different types of friendships and relationships - especially during these teenage years.   I am here to provide a source of reference and advice & a safe place for them to return to whenever they need.

Y.C.

 

Where Have All The Manners Gone

On a recent P.A. Day I took my children out to a popular buffet restaurant for lunch.  Their grandparents & cousins joined us so we had 4 adults and 5 children ages 6-12 in our group.  Because it was a P.A. Day there were a lot of children in the restaurant along with the regular work crowd.   As we were eating, a large party came in and were seated near us.  Their party also had children that outnumbered the adults.  A couple of the children in the party were excited and werenrunning around the table trying to find the "best" seat so they could sit beside their favourite friend/sibling/cousin.  Their server (who was also serving our table) started to take their drink orders and said in a polite and concerned voice "Don't run, please".  When he was ignored by the children (and also the adults at the table) he raised his voice slightly and said again, "Don't run, please - it is dangerous".  One of the ladies, looking incredulously at him snapped back: "They are just children".  The server then went on to apologize saying "Sorry, but it is dangerous to run because there are a lot of people walking around".   The children seeing this rather embarrassing encounter unfold quickly took their seats while their parents were still giving the server evil eyes and muttering under their breaths. 

Really?  Where have all the manners gone?  What are the adults teaching these children?  Not only did they not reprimand their own children but had the nerve to feel offended by the server and defend their children!  It is no wonder that a lot of people complain we are raising a bunch of entitled, spoiled, dependent children that are rude and have no respect for authority!

A few years ago we were having dinner with a group of friends at our local Swiss Chalet.  We decided to have a "children's table" and an "adult's table".  At the end of our meal our server complimented our children for being so well behaved.  Not only did they order on their own, and helped each other out, they sat and talked and entertained themselves while the adults finished their meals.  Yes, Swiss Chalet is a family restaurant that had colouring/activity papers to keep them busy.  And yes, the meal only lasted a little over an hour, but we are talking about a bunch of 3 - 8 year olds.  So a pat on the back to our group of friends.

Fast forward to this past Chinese New Year when my husband's family of 24 went to Dragon Legend Buffet to have dinner.  It was a busy evening, the place was crowded, the wait staff were hustling, clearing tables, and getting drinks.  As the evening ended, our server came by the "adults" table and mentioned how well behaved our children were - there were 12 of them ranging from ages 6 - 22 sitting together.  She said they were so polite and weren't wasteful - they only got enough food that they could finish.  They were having good conversation and weren't on their devices.  They were truly enjoying each others company.  I thanked her for the compliment and felt quite proud that my children were showing such good behaviour. 

Is this what our social skills/etiquette is coming to?  Are expectations so low that it is shocking when  children are polite to servers, not wasteful, or not on electronic devices during a meal?  Do parents not teach children to be engaging and enjoy the company they are with - and do they not set examples for their kids to follow?  After thinking about it, I've decided that my children's behaviour isn't particularly outstanding - it is what I expect and it is the norm for us.

Y.C.