A Different Kind of Dream

Some time ago I decided my intention for this blog would be to share memories of YC, memories from a long time ago.  I wanted my daughters to see how Mommy was before she got sick.  But my "I Had a Dream" post a few days ago was about me and how I was feeling.  In a moment of weakness I pressed the "Publish" button.  Afterwards, I regretted it somewhat because I didn't want my girls to know how I was feeling.  Some of you who read the blog sent me an email to cheer me up and I want to thank you for that.  It's okay to feel sad sometimes.  We learn to cope.

So this blog is going to be about me again, and how I cope.  Those visions I wrote about in the prior post can be quite disruptive when they appear between 4:00 AM and 7:00 AM.  When that happens, I almost never go back to sleep.  So I learned to "change the channel" and dream about a different kind of dream.

I think about past Stanley Cup Playoffs and how they should have ended. Calgary should have beaten Tampa Bay in 2004, San Jose could have won in 2008, and of course Toronto should have won in 1993.  I think of how certain goals could have been scored, who made the pass, what the commentators would say, what the headlines would be in the papers the next day.  Then at some point, I fall asleep, before the final game plays out in my mind.

Let me give you a recent example (non-hockey fans can skip to the end).  In the 2021 playoffs, Ilya Mikheyev should have scored into the open net in the dying seconds of Game 5 against Montreal.  The Leafs would face Winnipeg in Round 2 and the commentators would be saying both teams just won 4 games in a row.  Who will extend that streak?  Well, it's my dream so the Leafs extend their winning streak to 5.  But they haven't really been challenged to that point so they ease up a bit mentally and fall behind 3-1 in the series.  Captain John Tavares somehow finds the determination to play after he suffered a concussion and knee injury 3 weeks ago.  The Leafs win the next 3 with Tavares getting the OT winner in Game 7.  Next up is Tampa (Montreal played Vegas next but the seeding would have been different had the Leafs won) and somehow the Leafs win the first 3 games and the series in 5.  But everyone agrees it was a tough series that could have gone either way as 4 games went to OT and the fifth was sealed by Zach Hyman's empty netter.  In the finals, we face the Big Bad Bruins again.  Having been through 2 tough series, the Leafs are now battle hardened and take a 2-0 series lead.  Boston takes Game 3, prompting commentators to point out that the Leafs had won 3 consecutive games in every series but will not be able to do so this time.  The Leafs win in 5 and Joe Thornton gets the Cup winner in OT, against the team that drafted him first overall.  Jack Campbell takes home the Conn Smythe.

Now that I got that off my chest ... sweet dreams.

Big Oh

I Had a Dream

Shortly after YC and I started dating, I had a dream - a life goal, if you will.  It was a simple dream.  There were visions of myself and YC getting married, raising a family, having dim sum, attending parties with family and friends.  As my dream progressed, I pictured ourselves being lazy on a Sunday afternoon, sometimes we played in the park with our kids, played MJ with our relatives.  Then when we retired, we would take walks in a mall and eat at the food court, take the bus to the casino, watch Chinese dramas at night. Then maybe we'd go on a trip once in a while.

I didn't think this was too extravagant of a dream.  I wasn't asking for a lot.  I've seen many relatives and family friends live out this so called "dream".  I wasn't asking to be a movie star or celebrity or to travel the world.  I just wanted to grow old together with the woman I love.  But now I won't be able to do that.  And that is what eats away at my soul.

Big Oh

Unforgettable School Year

This school year was so unforgettable! Even though this year was virtual, I learned a lot and had fun. I think I had a better teacher than I normally did in person and I also had less distractions at home than at school. We also did many fun activities this year like Countdown to summer, played games, sang songs, watched movies, and I can name so many more. I also got to sleep in a lot more.  

This year was not just great all the time; there were some cons. I didn’t get to see my best friends every day, but I still Facetimed them every so often. I also got tired/bored easily in virtual school. I think it’s because I am just sitting all day and don’t get up to go to the different classes.

Even though this school year was so different/unforgettable/weird, it wasn’t so bad, but it still wasn’t the best.

M3

That Time in Your Life When Your Friends are Your Family

A few weeks ago I watched the Friends Reunion.  It was very emotional for me for a couple of reasons.  First, it was nice to see the cast again and the scenes from the show.  It was very nostalgic.  Second, YC and I watched Friends every week.  It was one of the few shows that we watched together religiously.

The producers described the show as "that time in your life when your friends are your family".  This struck a chord with me because, coincidentally when YC and I were watching Friends, it was during the time in our lives when our friends were our family.  Friends started in 1994 and aired for 10 seasons until 2004.  YC and I started dating in 1994 and M1 was born in 2004.

In 1994, YC and I were still in university.  But we graduated soon after, started working, and hung out with our friends every Friday.  We watched movies, gambled, went out for coffee, and cooked various dishes for potlucks.  There were trips to the cottage, Halloween parties, Christmas parties, New Year's Eve parties.  Sometimes we were so bored but instead of going home, we just played silly board games into the wee hours of the night.  I remember one time we played wood tag in a playground at a public school at 3:00 AM.

These times were special - especially for YC, for two reasons.  First, her relationship with her family was not the greatest, so her friends truly became her family.  Second, I was writing professional exams from 1995 - 2001 and that took up 6 months of my time each year.  (The exams were in November so I missed out on quite a few Halloween parties.)  During the times when I was busy studying, YC hung out with our friends.  She would then come back and tell me about all the good times they had - the laughs, the drama, the sharing of dreams and what their futures would be like.

 YC always told me that it was during these times that she forged the strongest friendships in her life.  These are the "sisters she got to choose".  She is extremely thankful for them.  And I must agree, this is a special group of friends.  (I was a fringe member in this circle of friends but they made me feel welcome every time we hung out.)  And it is this group of friends that came forward to help take care of YC and me and my daughters when YC got sick.  They helped with groceries, cooked meals, babysat the girls, and accompanied YC to appointments when I couldn't.  Most importantly, they were just there for us when it wasn't our day, our week, our month, or even our year.

So thank you, friends, and Friends for bringing back these memories of our 20s.

There were times when I would see something on TV and I would cry because I know YC would want to watch it and I should be watching it with her.  But during the Friends Reunion, I did not cry - mostly because my nieces were there, but maybe it's because I knew YC is watching with me.

My love, I hope you enjoyed the Friends Reunion and all the memories it brought back.

Big Oh

Our First Date

Today is YC's and my 22nd wedding anniversary.  She always says that she doesn't have as good a memory as I do and can't remember dates, milestones, or details of events.  She likes it when I remind her and then she says she has some recollection and the memories come back.  So my anniversary present to her this year is to remind her of our first date.

I actually don't remember the date of our first date - so much for me having a good memory.  We hung out in a group of friends for a few months before we started dating.  The date we celebrate for our dating anniversary is July 29, 1994 because that day she agreed to be my girlfriend.  But we were out with friends and this occurred at the end of the night when I took her home.  This was not an actual date but we considered it the beginning of our relationship.

Logically, our first date should have occurred the next day or shortly after.  We went to watch a movie at the Eaton Centre - when they still had those small screens.  The movie was Forrest Gump - of course it was her choice.  I don't usually like movies like that but I was just happy to watch a movie with her.  Tom Hanks won the Oscar for Best Actor and the movie won Best Picture.

After the movie we walked to Chinatown (Spadina) and had dinner at a Chinese restaurant.  This was my choice because I wanted to show her this restaurant that I was raving about.  I would go there for lunch as I was attending U of T at the time.  I called it "The $3.50 Place" because for $3.50 you could get a plate of rice with meat and vegetables (good portion size), plus hot and sour soup and a spring roll!  It was an amazing bargain and it tasted good too.

What the hell was I thinking?!  Trying to impress a girl by bringing her to the cheapest restaurant I could find???  The $3.50 Place was great for university students on a tight budget but for a first date, it's probably the worst choice ever!  But she acted like she didn't mind.  We enjoyed each other's company and we had a fun dinner conversation.  I remember laughing a lot and I remember talking about each other's families.  Subconsciously, I think we wanted to learn about each other's families because that might be an important part of our lives in the future.

Later on YC did tell me that the restaurant was a stupid choice on my part.  But she still stuck with me all these years after I took her to the cheapest place on Earth.  And I knew she had to be the one after she agreed to go on a second date with me even after that poor restaurant choice.  I smartened up and we went to dinner at the top of the CN Tower for our 3-monthiversary.

YC, my love, I hope you enjoy this memory.  I will cherish it always.  Happy Anniversary.

Big Oh

First Ever April Break: The Final Weekend

Day 8

I got 7.5 hours of sleep last night, the most I've had in a while.  So the day got off to a good start - I had lots of energy.  M2 made crepes this morning.  She loves crepes and a few years ago YC bought a crepe maker.  M3 cut the strawberries and bananas that we would put in our crepes.  And of coursed M1 slept in.  I made baked potatoes and somehow our breakfast morphed into lunch.

A few days ago I ordered a game from Amazon called "Taco Cat Spelled Backwards" for M3.  It arrived yesterday and we opened it today to play.  It was quite fun, with some strategy involved.  It's only a 2-player game so while M3 and I played, the two big girls went to Swiffer their rooms and tidy up for school next week.

Unfortunately, I couldn't break my habit of working on the weekends and I did about an hour of work while the girls were couch potatoes.  But we did get out to play a game of basketball again.  Then I went to pull some weeds from the garden because of my obsession of making progress with household chores.

For dinner we had a Burmese dish that my sister Selina made for us  It was a bit spicy for some of us so we supplemented with BBQ pork and rice.  After dinner we hung laundry and then watched the newest episode of The Mighty Ducks.  It was still early so we thought about playing a game.  Everyone was too lazy to actually get a board game so we just played those YouTube games where you name the song or Disney show, etc.  Because the songs were not 80s Cantopop, I got zero answers correct.  The girls felt bad for me so the next category was hockey players.

Day 9

Well, there's school on Monday so we all have that "Sunday feeling".  We tried to get rid of that feeling by making food.  I made French toast for breakfast.  M2 and my mom then made my mom's yellow cake recipe, which my girls like to have for breakfast before school.  M2 is getting good at this and can do this pretty much on her own, even though she used to complain that Grandma doesn't have a fixed recipe.  She just adds more sugar or flour or eggs based on how the batter looks. M3 and I made kale chips.  I put too much salt but we know better for next time.

The rest of the day the girls just moped around, being couch potatoes, and dreading school the next day.  I was able to pull some weeds, Swiffer and mop the kitchen, clean my bathroom, and do a little bit of work-work.  I also played Taco Cat Spelled Backwards with M3.

So all in all, I think it was a nice week.  The girls got a break from school, which was the main goal of this break, I guess.  They also got to play some games, do some activities outside, watch TV, and do some cleaning.  There was good food, baking, and a birthday celebration along the way.  Let's hope for the next break we can spend some time outside our bubble with more uncles, aunts, cousins, and friends.

Big Oh

First Ever April Break: Day 7

I worked most of the day again today but outside of work, it was a good day.  We got to enjoy a nice sushi lunch, courtesy of grandma's casino winnings.  When my mom wins money and treats us to a meal, we have to let her.  If we don't and she doesn't win again, then it's our fault.  She believes that if she wins and if she shares the wealth, she will win again.

After lunch, we had a nice virtual playdate with Auntie Tenderheart, her daughters Anita and Ariel and nephew Nathan.  We played Pictionary and Family Feud.  I liked Family Feud but the kids seemed to like Pictionary better, probably because I can't draw, and it's so much harder using that mouse pad on a laptop. Ariel also read us a story - it was like those old "Choose Your Own Adventure" books that I grew up reading.  In the end, I think I was supposed to get some money, so I need to remind Ariel about that when I see her next, after this lockdown is over.

After the online game session, I went back to work and the girls baked a cake for their cousin Addison's birthday, which is today.  It was a triple layer cake with lots of icing.  It was a bit sweet but it tasted pretty good.  It's kind of a family tradition that the birthday boy or girl has a drumstick to eat on their birthday so Pepe went to get Church's chicken for dinner - that seems to be becoming a tradition too.  By the way, Pepe lives next door to us so we have been in each other's social circle this whole pandemic.  Still, he is very careful and although we share food, we don't eat together.  But after dinner, we did go over to give the cake to Addison.  We all wore masks but did have to take them off to eat a slice of cake.  Addison's sister, Pearl and her boyfriend, Jimmy joined the celebrations via Face Time.

My mom did not join because she was going to play her online casino, in hopes of a repeat win like yesterday.  Or so we thought.  I mentioned before that she is a clean freak.  So with no one around to make sure she rests from her shingles pain, she decided to clean the bathroom on the main floor!  It was on my to do list for the weekend but she claims she was feeling better today so she cleaned it.  What kind of a person cleans the bathroom on a Friday night after dinner?  Anyway, that's my mom.  Sometimes I find it stressful to have to race her to do stuff around the house.  But she tells me to take comfort in the fact that she still has energy to do housework.  And if she is doing work that means her shingles pain is getting better.

The next thing we did was play Codenames - Lockdown edition.  This was created by mainly M2, with ideas from M1 and M3.  They came up with their own words - all related to the pandemic.  Some examples include virus, sanitizer, mask, and Doug Ford.  This actually proved difficult because most of the clues given could apply to more words than intended.  It was still fun, though.  It's a nice thinking game - teaches you to think about what other's are thinking.

Our final activity was to watch The Falcon and The Winter Soldier, which has become a constant in our Friday night routine.  All in all, it was a good day with lots of fun activities.  But now the girls realized that the April Break is effectively over.  It'll be just like any other weekend and they have to go back to school.  But I think I will do another blog to wrap up the week.

Big Oh