Embrace the Challenge

For the past two years my first two daughters, M1 and M2, have both passed their ballet exams with distinction.  This year, the ballet teacher asked if M1 wanted to skip Grade 5 ballet next year and move into Grade 6.  Now, I don’t want to give the impression that she is a really good ballet dancer.  The reason for this suggestion by the teacher is because M1 started ballet late.  She just finished Grade 4, while M2, who is two years younger,  just finished Grade 3.  So skipping Grade 5 just means she will be where she belongs.  Also, Grade 6 ballet will be the level where most of her teammates and girls her age are dancing.

But M1 is a bit nervous about this because she doesn’t think she’s ready.  Most likely she is just comfortable at that lower level and she may be concerned that she won’t be top dog or achieve distinction if she jumps up to Grade 6.  While it may be true that she will not get as high a mark in a higher grade, I still want her to embrace this challenge.  One reason is because the teacher thinks she can do it and at this point I think the teacher is the best judge of M1’s abilities.  The main reason, though, is that I want my children to embrace a challenge when they are faced with one.  Success or failure, there will be good lessons to be learned.  (Of course, I don’t want to set them up for failure, like suggesting they arm wrestle a bear or something like that!)

This desire of mine may stem from my own regret that I did not embrace as many challenges as I could have during my own childhood.  I played badminton competitively from age 12 to 16 and there were several occasions where I would lose my first game on purpose in order to compete in the consolation round.  I knew I did not have a chance to win against the better players in the main round so I decided to be “first among losers”.  Trophies were given to the champion and finalist of the main round and also the winner of the consolation round.  So to me, the trophy in the consolation round was more precious than the experience I would gain if I had lost in the main round.  I deliberately disobeyed my brother Pepe, who was doubling as my badminton coach.  I guess as a kid I was a materialist and now I am more of an idealist. 

After I stopped competing, I would sometimes think back about my badminton-playing days and I wish I did not throw games in order to win in the easier consolation round.  Had I tried my best, who knows how far I could have advanced in the tournament.  There were times where I played a weaker opponent and lost.  There were also other times when I played a stronger opponent and won.  So what if I had tried harder?  Perhaps I could have played a real good game and upset a stronger opponent in the tournament.  If I had lost, it would still be an honour to say I played against a real good player and gave them a run for their money.  Looking back now, 25 years later, playing a good, competitive badminton match would be more memorable and valuable than getting a trophy.

As a parent, we want our children to be better than we are and not make the same mistakes we did.  I hope my experiences will weigh in on M1’s decision.  “And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance … I hope you dance … I hope you dance.”

Big Oh

An Old Friend

Today an old friend sent me a message via FB.  She is someone I met in junior high.  We were very close at one point during our early teenage years.  I remember hanging out at her house, sharing secret crushes, going to clubs (even though we were still underage), sleepovers - these were the years where we would be finding ourselves; testing the waters; choosing our futures paths - which university we would be going to, who to date/marry, what career path we were headed to.  And so our paths slowly diverged.  But it wasn't a bad thing.  It's called growing up.  It's called Life.

But today "Life" had her knocking on my door (well actually, pinging me with a message).  She had heard from a mutual friend that I am sick.  She just wanted to let me know she was thinking about me and offer me some words of love & encouragement.   The last time I remember seeing her and talking to her she invited me to her new condo for a housewarming.  This was more than 10 years ago.  And since then we really haven't talked or socialized.  The paths we were taking never crossed but today for a brief moment we met up (albeit thru FB messaging) and for that I am grateful.

Dear J.T.:  Thanks for your message.  It really made my day.
Y.C.

A Voice

When I can't sleep I sometimes read, or watch TV, or write.  I actually write a lot.  Only a fraction of what I write makes it onto this blog.  I have journals for each of my children.  I have a journal for myself.  I write blog posts with every intention of publishing it here, but in the end, for one reason or another I just don't think it is the right "time" to share it yet and so it gets "saved" for another day (maybe).

I don't speak well.  Too fast, often repeating myself, or sometimes I just find it hard to find the right words to express what I want to say at that moment of conversation.   Writing solves all those problems.  I'm not a great writer by any means, but at least I have time to think about what I want to say, re-read & edit, and of course delete entirely anything that just isn't coming across the way I want it to sound.

Reading and writing has always been an outlet for me.  I remember as a child I already loved to read.  One of the first memory of a Christmas present I received was a picture book of Cinderella - it really is the only memory of ANY Christmas present I received as a child.  I remember spending my lunch hour in grade school in the library shelving books instead of playing in the school yard.   I've written in numerous diaries and journals over the years.  When I was younger I felt I didn't have a voice, at least not a voice anyone want to hear.  A lot of the things I couldn't say to my family, and I didn't have a lot of friends to share with, I would pour into words on paper. 

My daughters are now 11, 9 and 5.  From what I can tell, they too are developing a love for books and reading.  But they don't write much and I hope that changes.  Or perhaps they don't write because they feel they have a voice - a voice that is being heard and respected and loved - even if it is just by me and the Big Oh.

Y.C.

Happy Birthday To Me

Ever since I've been sick my birthday has taken a new meaning for me.  I noticeably didn't write anything last year or the year before on or around my birthday.  For the last couple of years I didn't want to celebrate it.  I hardly wanted to celebrate anything. 

But for the last 3 days I have been celebrating.  Kind of.

On Saturday my two best friends had an impromptu lunch for me.  Because it was planned last minute, only the two of them were available.  But sometimes that's just what we need.  Something simple but still wonderful.  Because it was only the 3 of us, we were able to have a lovely 4 course lunch prepared by H.H. and have it in her beautiful garden.   It was 3 hours of amazing food, lovely weather, and endless chatter about this and that - nothing heavy, nothing deep, just a wonderful relaxing morning/afternoon.

On Sunday I had dinner with my brother and sister's families and our parents.  Funny.  I don't ever remember celebrating my birthday (or theirs for that matter) as children.  I guess we must have.  But I just don't remember any birthday parties in any of our honour with our parents present.  Granted during our childhood my parents were working 12 hour days 7 days a week.  So our dinner was without much fanfare but again, it's what we are used to, anything else would seem contrived and uncomfortable.

Yesterday my children and husband celebrated with me.  M1 bought me a thoughtful gift (with her own allowance money), and M2 & M3 wrote poems and drew pictures.  Perhaps I got it wrong.  Instead of fearing special days and avoiding celebrations, my focus should really be on creating happy & beautiful memories for my daughters.

Y.C.

Keep On Dancing

I've written about my daughter's dance classes before.  I've written about how much enjoyment they get out of it.  I've written about all the positive experiences it has given us as a family and about the friendships they've made along the way.  I still have the same sentiments but lately I've been thinking really hard about the coming dance season and whether it is time for some changes. 

There are definitely aspects of dance I will miss as my children move out of this world: the family trips to competitions, the excitement when they learn new routines, seeing them beautiful & strong on stage full of confidence as they tell a story through the music & their bodies. 

So after some thought we have decided to continue with the same craziness that has been our life for the past 3 years - our life as a competitive dance family.  So no, it is not time to scale down yet.  We shall see how this year goes. 

To be continued....

Y.C.

My Cousin's 100 Day Celebration

On Sunday I went to my cousin's 100-Day Celebration at Dragon Legend.  My cousin's name is E***** C***.  She is a baby, she is cute and chubby.  She has a big brother.  Her brother's name is E**** C***.  He is 3 years old.  He played with me and my other cousin N*******.  We walked around the restaurant and played nicely together.  

Dragon Legend is a buffet.  At a buffet you get your own food whenever you're ready.  You don't have to wait for the waitress to fill in your order.   There was crab, shrimp, broccoli, and yellow noodles.  There was also Peking Duck.  My favorite was the veggies. 

I sat at the kid's table with my cousins.  Their names are Ga, Hong, Wai, Big S & Little S, C.E., & N.E.  My sisters were also at my table.  My grandparents were also sitting with us.  There were also other people at Dragon Legend.  I had a fun & wonderful time with my cousins. 

M3

No More Playtime Today

Is it so bad to not want to play with your children?

Most days I just want to sit and read and write.  But my 5 year old has other ideas.

It is almost half-way thru the summer and my children have only had 5 days of 1/2 day camp so far - and that's all I planned for the month of July.  I thought I could handle it.  One month.  Only a month of all 3 kids at home, should be easy, right?

Today I already made a board game with my 5 year old.  She said she would like to save it to play with her dad tonight (I swear I didn't convince her on that one).  But she is already getting restless and it isn't even 5:00pm yet.  Still another couple of hours before daddy gets home.

I've set a time limit or an activity limit on my 5 year old.  There's only so much reading, colouring, playing house, or dolls, or board games, I can do in a day.  One activity before lunch and one in the evening before bed.  Afternoons are MY time.

There are times I feel guilty about the lack of attention I give my children - particularly the youngest one.  But really, how many parents out there can be 100% there 100% of the time?  How many can be honest and say "That's enough - I can't do anymore."?  I look at my child now as I am typing away.  She is playing on her own.  Talking to herself and her toys.  She is fine.

Y.C.

Gratitude

A few months ago I wrote I had started going to church. Well I stopped.  So did M2.  But I am grateful for the experience.  It opened my eyes & taught me lot about myself and how I view religion, faith, and God.

I have taken to praying every night before I go to sleep and as soon as I wake up in the morning.   Every night I lie in bed in the evening and thank God for the beautiful day I just had.  No matter what happened that day, I am grateful that I am alive to experience it and to have shared it with my family.  I thank God for my parents & my in-laws, for keeping them healthy so they can help me with my children.  I thank God for the Big Oh.  For being able to provide for us & for his patience & strength. Finally I thank God for my children.  For keeping them healthy and for every day I am able to spend with them.

When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I think about is God and how grateful I am to Him that he is giving me another day.  That is how my mornings begin - with gratitude.

Whether you have a deep sense of religion or not I think being grateful & happy is an exercise everyone should practice daily.  Give it a try.

Y.C.

My Birthday Party!

On Friday July 15th I had my birthday party. It was kind of early because people usually go on trips when my real birthday is happening. Anyways, we had a movie and dinner party. Three of my friends from dance came to the party. The movie that we watched was "The Secret Life Of Pets". I thought it was a very good movie. Warning:If you want SPOILERS than keep reading on and if you don't than stop reading after this sentence. The movie was about what your pets do when you're not home. The main character is Max and he is having the perfect life with his amazing owner Katie until she brings home a new dog Duke. At first Max and Duke don't like each other and want to get rid of each other. Then when a pet care person takes then to the park and they get lost they find themselves trapped by abandoned pets. They go down the sewers with the other pets and find lots of other abandoned pets. Meanwhile his friends back at his apartment go out on a hunt to try to find their friends. Soon enough the pets meet up and go home together to their own owners. After the movie my friends and I went to go have dinner at Milestones. Then we drove my friends home and in the car we opened gifts. I got Scratch Art, A Tin Can Robot, Edible Bubbles, and an Ice Cream Kit. I had a fun and enjoyable birthday party with my friends.




                                                                  M2

THE LAND OF STORIES

(SPOILERS!)

So, I have recently been reading a new book series called, "The Land of Stories." There are 5 books in the series (so far) and I have read them all. Now, I may or may not spoil a few details about the book, so I'm sorry if I do😁. This book takes is written by Chris Colfer and takes place in modern day time. There are twins, a boy, and girl, Alex and Connor Bailey, who are total opposites. Alex is an A+ student whereas Connor is the one to fall asleep during class. But there is one thing they share, they love fairy tales, especially when their dad tells them ones that they had never even heard of! But that all changes when their dad dies in a car accident. Soon after that they discover a fairy tale world inside of their grandmothers fairy tale book! And they learn that (SPOILER ALERT!!!) their grandmother is the fairy godmother! That basically sums up the first book. But, if you want to follow the rest of Alex and Conner's adventures, then read the next 4 books!

I really enjoyed reading this book and if I had to rate it, I would give it 4.5 stars. The reason for this is, the book is so good and includes every little detail that you should know. But, as it does give you every little detail, it doesn't give you all the details right away. Or the author would give you wrong information and then when you get the actual facts/details you would go OHHHHH.... So what I'm saying is, I don't like the suspense or, cliffhangers. That would be the only thing I would think of as a thumbs down. But other than that, this series was amazing to read and I hope it continues!

                                  M1♍️

Canada Day Holiday - Day 4

I've been home for 2 days and I finally have time to sit and write about our last day in Ottawa.  Even a "mini" vacation requires 2 days to recuperate (and to do laundry).

On our fourth and final day in Ottawa we met up with some friends for brunch.  It was nice to try a "local" restaurant and not something touristy.  The restaurant was called "Pressed" and their specialty was waffles.  Everything on the brunch menu came with waffles and it was pretty good.  Give it a try the next time you are in the capital.

http://pressed-ottawa.com/

After brunch we headed back to the Royal Canadian Mint. We tried to get in yesterday but the tours were all booked so we made a reservation for today.  We picked up a couple of items at the gift store but neither was for ourselves.  One was a special Star Trek coin for Uncle P.   The tour turned out to be M2 and Big Oh's favorite part of the weekend.  Unfortunately, because it was a Sunday, there was no one working so we couldn't see firsthand the making of some of the coins. 

After the tour  were ready to head on home.  The first half of the drive went relatively smoothly but about half way home our travelling speed went from 100km on a major highway to about 40km!  What we didn't account for was the number of people, like ourselves, coming home from a long weekend at the cottage or from a vacation.  The drive that would have normally taken just over 4 hours became a 7 hour drive home!  Luckily the kids were troopers and weren't whiny at all.

Whenever we go on vacation we always ask the kids what their favorite part/event was and they will ask us.  My answer is always the same.  My favorite part is just spending time with them, not having to plan meals or cook, not having to follow a schedule and just relaxing.  And most of all, my favorite part of any vacation is coming home!

Y.C.

Canada Day Holiday - Day 3

Today I was determined to instill some culture & education on my children.  So The Big Oh was up early to line up for some free guided tour tickets of the Parliament buildings. We were warned the first day we arrived that if we wanted our preferred time we would have to be in line well before the ticket office opened - best advice of the weekend.  The Big Oh was in line at 7:25am (the office opens at 9:00) and he was already 11th in line.  By 8:00am the line was already snaked around the corner and by the time me the girls met up at 8:30am I'd say the lineup was easily a couple of hundred of people!   We were able to get tickets to Centre Block & East Block and enjoyed two 40 minute long guided tours that gave us some history of the Canadian parliament and the buildings - educational portion of the trip - check.  Now I was happy.

Unfortunately the second half of the day didn't run as smoothly.  It was a case of trying to do too much - my fault entirely.  I planned to do the tourist-y double decker bus tour of the city where you can get on and off at various attractions and explore at your own leisure.  There were two attractions I wanted to go to - The Royal Canadian Mint and The Museum Of Nature.  So we hopped on the bus but got off on the first stop to get some lunch.  After an hour & half lunch it was already 3:00pm & by the time we got to the Mint they were already sold out of tour tickets for the remainder of the day.  Because we didn't know this before we got off the bus, we had to wait almost an hour before the next bus came back to pick us up!  By this time the kids were getting tired & we wouldn't have enough time to enjoy the museum.  So no museum either.   When we were picked up by the bus we rode the remainder of the tour route & then headed back to the hotel.  I was disappointed but I think the kids were glad to just rest before dinner.

For dinner we just walked down the main street (which our hotel happened to be on) and just picked one whose menu looked appealing.   One thing I noticed was that almost every restaurant had some variation of poutine on it!  After 3 days I asked the kids to eat something healthy and no side orders of fries or onion rings!

We will be heading home tomorrow but not before trying one more restaurant & going back to The Mint for a quick tour!
Y.C.

Canada Day Holiday - Day 2

Day two of our trip to the capital started with an early morning walk to Major's park where there were food trucks, street eats, and games & entertainment for the kids. When else would I allow my kids grilled cheese sandwiches from a food truck and ice cream for breakfast except while celebrating Canada Day?  Even M2 asked, "Why are you letting us have ice cream for breakfast?".  Well because it's FREE!  Complimentary ice cream was being handed out at 10am en route to the day long festivities at the park!

After spending some time at the park we caught a shuttle to the Canadian Museum of History.  It turns out that all museums in the capital have free admission on Canada Day.  This museum had a nice children's area which M3 enjoyed.  Although M2 & M1 were a bit old for it, they were good sports and allowed us to enjoy a couple of hours at the museum without too much complaining.

By the time we finished at the museum it was getting more crowded and the line-ups were getting longer & longer so we decided to head back to the hotel.  And along the way we picked up some more street eats - this time some pad Thai, spring rolls, and pork skewers, as well as some mini pancakes. Today is definitely not a healthy eating day!

After some quiet time in the hotel we went out looking for some dinner before we headed back to Parliament Hill to catch the fireworks.  We found a small Japanese restaurant nearby and got in just before a huge down pour of rain.

The highlight of the day was the fireworks with the parliament buildings as a backdrop.  The rain stopped just in time for us to comfortably watch the show.  I hope my daughters enjoyed it.  I could tell they were in awe with just the sheer number of people on the streets and the friendliness of strangers that gathered to celebrate together.  And on the way back to the hotel what did we pick up as a late night snack?  Poutine!  From a food truck, of course!

Y.C.