This Saturday is Chinese New Year Day. I've written about how our family celebrates Chinese New Year in the past (mostly by eating) and I must admit I truly love the traditions The Big Oh's family have. However, there is one tradition in particular that has been of some discussion in the last couple of weeks - that of giving out red pocket money - "lai see".
When I was child a highlight was when my family would meet my uncles & aunts for dim sum or dinner during Chinese New Year and upon us hollering "Gung Hei Fat Choy" we would be given our lai see. By the time I reached my early twenties Chinese New Year gatherings with extended family were less frequent - and when we did have a chance to meet up during this time of year, aside from my own parents, we no longer received red envelopes. Hence I thought lai see was something fun & special for children.
So when I started spending Chinese New Year's with The Big Oh's family I learned that every family has their own traditions when it comes to giving lai see. What I thought was suppose to be just a token amount ($1, $2 or $5) inside the red envelope turned out to be significantly more in his family. I grew up with the notion that at some point you would be too old to receive lai see. Not so in The Big Oh's family - around here you can get lai see until you have children of your own even if you are married and 50 years old! I always assumed that lai see money was given to a "generation below". For example, I would receive lai see from my uncles and aunts. When I got married I would give it to my nieces & nephews. Again different in The Big Oh's family. Their family rule is that you would give lai see out as soon as you were married - even to family members in the same generation (it wouldn't matter whether they were older or younger than you, and even married) as long as they didn't have children.
I don't know what the majority thinks, but to me, these rules just don't sit well. Here are a couple of examples why: (1) The Big Oh and I were married before his older sister was, so there was a few years where we gave her and her boyfriend/fiancé/husband lai see until they had children of their own. (2) The Big Oh has a cousin close to 40 years old who is in a co-habitating long-term relationship and assuming that they never get married or have children they will continue to receive lai see forever (and never have to give any out themselves). I just think these scenarios are stupid - they kind of take away the fun out of what I thought giving/receiving lai see was about - that it's something special for the children. If you know me you'll know it's not about the money - in this case, it's about silly rules (traditions, if you like) which people are too afraid/lazy to suggest a logical change to.
A couple of years ago someone in the Big Oh's extended family suggested scrapping giving out lai see altogether. I can only guess to the reasoning behind this because no consultation, no vote, no real explanation was given - just a couple of aunts & uncles said "Let's stop giving lai see" and then our family was told not to give it out anymore.
Well this year I'm starting a mutiny. I am going to give lai see - under MY rules. I will be giving out lai see to children because I remember what fun it was to receive pockets of money once a year. I remember counting the crisp bills or shiny coins and thinking what a fortune I had and what treats I could buy with it! And when I think you're too old to receive it I'll stop giving it to you - and I'll tell you so too! I won't be afraid to say, "Aren't you a little too old? It's really for children, and besides you make more money than my husband & I combined!". And if I get asked why I'm giving out red pockets because it was decided that the family would not, I won't be afraid to say, "I like giving out lai see to children. It's my tradition."
So there....now I'm off to the bank to get some brand new crisp $5 bills to put in our red envelopes.
Y.C.
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
Friday, January 20, 2017
The Crash Of My Life
This month is turning out to be a pretty crappy month. I have been feeling a bit "down" since the beginning of the year. And I lost my e-reader yesterday!
Perhaps it's the short days & long nights.
Maybe it's the awful weather - gone is the beautiful white snow & crisp winter air that we had around Christmas, lately it has been dreary drizzle and overcast skies which just makes the roads wet and slushy on good days, or a dangerous sheet of black ice on bad ones.
The feelings I'm having could be an emotional/mental "crash" from the "highs" that come with Christmas holidays, feasting with family & friends, and just spending some quality time with the people I love.
Or it could be just because it's January. It was a day 3 years ago in January that brought me to who & where I am today. It was horrible devastating news that was delivered to me on a January day, similar to the ones we've been having lately, that changed my life.
I was driving my shiny red car on a familiar highway cruising at 100 km/hr and all the other cars driving with me were keeping a safe distance. I knew where I was going. I had a clear destination in sight. I knew this road like it was the back of my hand, I had driven it thousands of times. It was a beautiful day. The skies were clear and the sun was out but not blinding - just right. The trees, houses & building, and scenery alongside the highway was enough to keep my drive interesting but not distracting. I'm smiling and singing along to a favorite song playing on the radio. Then without notice, without reason, without any cause at all I lose control and my car is spinning out of control in the middle of the road. The brakes don't work, the steering wheel has a mind of it's own, and all I can do is sit there and watch out the windshield of all the cars I'm hitting knocking out of the way, meanwhile my car is still spinning, still accelerating at 100 km/hr. My heart is beating so hard I feel pain in my chest, my mind is racing & my head is pounding, and I am screaming for everything to stop. I don't know how long this went on for but I am still inside my bashed up, broken car. It's all scratched up, dented, pieces of it left behind in the carnage. It's no longer shiny, but rusty & scratched up and it'll never go fast again - my beloved shiny red car!
I'm still driving, though the conditions are all different now. I'm not on that familiar highway and I'm not cruising anymore, no never again. It's stop and go, slowly ploughing through foreign roads in places where I don't recognize. It is a rough, bumpy road, full of sudden turns and dead ends, there are no signs or directions. There will be moments of deja vu - that I've driven this road before and maybe I can let my guard down but it never lasts long before I am back to unfamiliar territory. The skies are cloudy, but I know there is a sun behind those clouds and sometimes a ray of light will sneak out for a brief moment to remind me it's there. The radio still works and music still plays but I can't seem to tune into my favorite radio station anymore - the one that plays all the songs I love and know all the words to. Sometimes I will still try to sing along. I DON'T know where I am going but I can't get out of my car. I HAVE to keep driving. There is no other choice.
Y.C.
Perhaps it's the short days & long nights.
Maybe it's the awful weather - gone is the beautiful white snow & crisp winter air that we had around Christmas, lately it has been dreary drizzle and overcast skies which just makes the roads wet and slushy on good days, or a dangerous sheet of black ice on bad ones.
The feelings I'm having could be an emotional/mental "crash" from the "highs" that come with Christmas holidays, feasting with family & friends, and just spending some quality time with the people I love.
Or it could be just because it's January. It was a day 3 years ago in January that brought me to who & where I am today. It was horrible devastating news that was delivered to me on a January day, similar to the ones we've been having lately, that changed my life.
I was driving my shiny red car on a familiar highway cruising at 100 km/hr and all the other cars driving with me were keeping a safe distance. I knew where I was going. I had a clear destination in sight. I knew this road like it was the back of my hand, I had driven it thousands of times. It was a beautiful day. The skies were clear and the sun was out but not blinding - just right. The trees, houses & building, and scenery alongside the highway was enough to keep my drive interesting but not distracting. I'm smiling and singing along to a favorite song playing on the radio. Then without notice, without reason, without any cause at all I lose control and my car is spinning out of control in the middle of the road. The brakes don't work, the steering wheel has a mind of it's own, and all I can do is sit there and watch out the windshield of all the cars I'm hitting knocking out of the way, meanwhile my car is still spinning, still accelerating at 100 km/hr. My heart is beating so hard I feel pain in my chest, my mind is racing & my head is pounding, and I am screaming for everything to stop. I don't know how long this went on for but I am still inside my bashed up, broken car. It's all scratched up, dented, pieces of it left behind in the carnage. It's no longer shiny, but rusty & scratched up and it'll never go fast again - my beloved shiny red car!
I'm still driving, though the conditions are all different now. I'm not on that familiar highway and I'm not cruising anymore, no never again. It's stop and go, slowly ploughing through foreign roads in places where I don't recognize. It is a rough, bumpy road, full of sudden turns and dead ends, there are no signs or directions. There will be moments of deja vu - that I've driven this road before and maybe I can let my guard down but it never lasts long before I am back to unfamiliar territory. The skies are cloudy, but I know there is a sun behind those clouds and sometimes a ray of light will sneak out for a brief moment to remind me it's there. The radio still works and music still plays but I can't seem to tune into my favorite radio station anymore - the one that plays all the songs I love and know all the words to. Sometimes I will still try to sing along. I DON'T know where I am going but I can't get out of my car. I HAVE to keep driving. There is no other choice.
Y.C.
Monday, January 2, 2017
Big Oh's Top Ten List of 2016
10) Auston Matthews
9) Summer trips to Wonderland
8) Wifey's ladies only trip to Tampa and stories about Uncle Rich
7) Watching Legend of the Condor Heroes with my daughters and seeing that they understand it and are enjoying it
6) Going to dance competitions and watching my daughters
5) M3 learns to ride a bike
4) Canada Day trip to Ottawa - witnessed a lot of "true patriot love" and it was educational for my daughters
3) March Break cruise - first vacation requiring a plane ride since M3 was born
2) My three daughters
1) My beautiful wife - a true inspiration
Big Oh
Sunday, January 1, 2017
Top Ten List Of 2016
I made it! WE made it through 2016!
My family spent New Year's eve with some of our dearest friends, something I haven't done in a few years. It was a tiring evening but I am so glad we did it.
Here is my top ten list for this year:
10) Dance Dance & More Dance
9) Netflix & Chinese Cable boxes
8) Watching D & A's first year - 100th Day Party, First Birthday
7) This year's summer holidays when we watched Legend Of The Condor Hereos with our girls AND taught them how to play MJ
6) March Break Cruise with our "Pals" - our first major family vacation since M3 has been born and her first time on an airplane
5) My first "Girlfriend's Trip" in November to Tampa, Florida - could not have imagined it without these 4 amazing women: L.L, H.H, P.T, and N.L.
4) Spending Canada Day in our nation's capital with our beautiful daughters: watching fireworks, learning some Canadian history, trying different restaurants
3) Once again, I could not have made it through this year without my family & friends who laugh & cry with me & remind me everyday how lucky I am to have them in my life.
2) My Beautiful daughters
1) The Big Oh
Y.C.
My family spent New Year's eve with some of our dearest friends, something I haven't done in a few years. It was a tiring evening but I am so glad we did it.
Here is my top ten list for this year:
10) Dance Dance & More Dance
9) Netflix & Chinese Cable boxes
8) Watching D & A's first year - 100th Day Party, First Birthday
7) This year's summer holidays when we watched Legend Of The Condor Hereos with our girls AND taught them how to play MJ
6) March Break Cruise with our "Pals" - our first major family vacation since M3 has been born and her first time on an airplane
5) My first "Girlfriend's Trip" in November to Tampa, Florida - could not have imagined it without these 4 amazing women: L.L, H.H, P.T, and N.L.
4) Spending Canada Day in our nation's capital with our beautiful daughters: watching fireworks, learning some Canadian history, trying different restaurants
3) Once again, I could not have made it through this year without my family & friends who laugh & cry with me & remind me everyday how lucky I am to have them in my life.
2) My Beautiful daughters
1) The Big Oh
Y.C.
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