This Saturday is Chinese New Year Day. I've written about how our family celebrates Chinese New Year in the past (mostly by eating) and I must admit I truly love the traditions The Big Oh's family have. However, there is one tradition in particular that has been of some discussion in the last couple of weeks - that of giving out red pocket money - "lai see".
When I was child a highlight was when my family would meet my uncles & aunts for dim sum or dinner during Chinese New Year and upon us hollering "Gung Hei Fat Choy" we would be given our lai see. By the time I reached my early twenties Chinese New Year gatherings with extended family were less frequent - and when we did have a chance to meet up during this time of year, aside from my own parents, we no longer received red envelopes. Hence I thought lai see was something fun & special for children.
So when I started spending Chinese New Year's with The Big Oh's family I learned that every family has their own traditions when it comes to giving lai see. What I thought was suppose to be just a token amount ($1, $2 or $5) inside the red envelope turned out to be significantly more in his family. I grew up with the notion that at some point you would be too old to receive lai see. Not so in The Big Oh's family - around here you can get lai see until you have children of your own even if you are married and 50 years old! I always assumed that lai see money was given to a "generation below". For example, I would receive lai see from my uncles and aunts. When I got married I would give it to my nieces & nephews. Again different in The Big Oh's family. Their family rule is that you would give lai see out as soon as you were married - even to family members in the same generation (it wouldn't matter whether they were older or younger than you, and even married) as long as they didn't have children.
I don't know what the majority thinks, but to me, these rules just don't sit well. Here are a couple of examples why: (1) The Big Oh and I were married before his older sister was, so there was a few years where we gave her and her boyfriend/fiancé/husband lai see until they had children of their own. (2) The Big Oh has a cousin close to 40 years old who is in a co-habitating long-term relationship and assuming that they never get married or have children they will continue to receive lai see forever (and never have to give any out themselves). I just think these scenarios are stupid - they kind of take away the fun out of what I thought giving/receiving lai see was about - that it's something special for the children. If you know me you'll know it's not about the money - in this case, it's about silly rules (traditions, if you like) which people are too afraid/lazy to suggest a logical change to.
A couple of years ago someone in the Big Oh's extended family suggested scrapping giving out lai see altogether. I can only guess to the reasoning behind this because no consultation, no vote, no real explanation was given - just a couple of aunts & uncles said "Let's stop giving lai see" and then our family was told not to give it out anymore.
Well this year I'm starting a mutiny. I am going to give lai see - under MY rules. I will be giving out lai see to children because I remember what fun it was to receive pockets of money once a year. I remember counting the crisp bills or shiny coins and thinking what a fortune I had and what treats I could buy with it! And when I think you're too old to receive it I'll stop giving it to you - and I'll tell you so too! I won't be afraid to say, "Aren't you a little too old? It's really for children, and besides you make more money than my husband & I combined!". And if I get asked why I'm giving out red pockets because it was decided that the family would not, I won't be afraid to say, "I like giving out lai see to children. It's my tradition."
So there....now I'm off to the bank to get some brand new crisp $5 bills to put in our red envelopes.
Y.C.
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