My Mistake

I made a mistake.  I made a parenting mistake.  I made a mommy mistake.

My oldest daughter M1 was invited to a sleepover party.  She is 10 years old and has never been to a sleepover.   To me 10 years old still seems too young to be sleeping over.  This daughter still likes me to 'set up her toothbrush'.  I still dry her hair.  I shop for her clothes.  Sometimes we'll sleep together just because we want to cuddle - and just because. So I said no - she was upset at first, but I explained my reasons.  I was not comfortable because I felt she was too young and had never been to a sleepover; neither she nor I had ever been to that friend's house before; I didn't go to my first sleepover until I was probably 15 or 16 years old. And yes, there were a bit of tears but she got over it quickly (or so I thought).  Anyways, the party was yesterday and when The Big Oh went to pick her up he said he hadn't even pull out of the driveway when the bawling started.  I knew as soon as she stepped in the door what was going on...and the crying didn't stop until she fell asleep.

And you know what?  Between all the crying and bawling she was still able to reason with me, to explain to me why she was so upset - and it made sense.  Everyone was so excited about sleeping over and she felt left out. They are good people. These are her dance friends - they are like 'family'.  I understand and agree with all these statements.  I remember being young and feeling left out - I don't even like to feel left out now! These families ARE good people.  I know first hand because when I needed help last year all these families let me know that we could count on them during dance rehearsals and competitions.  We are a  part of a special group of 'dance families'.  I'm so happy that my daughters have found another place where they can feel safe, and flourish and grow besides their own home.

The last thing M1 said to me was "Mommy, you have to let me grow up and be independent...you aren't going to be there to hold my hand forever. "  So true.  But I can't help it...but I will try.  I promise.