The Big Oh says that I sometimes have the tendency to be too friendly. Usually I disagree but this most recent experience has made me reconsider.
A couple of weeks ago M2 had a birthday party at home. When the parents started to come pick up their children at the end of the party the kids still wanted to stay and play, which I was fine with since we had no other plans for the day. I invited each parent to come in for some cake & drinks but only one accepted my offer - everyone declined saying they'd be back in a couple of hours to pick up their kid (woo hoo - two more hours of free babysitting who wouldn't want that?).
So for the next two hours I got to know one of my child's friend's mom (FM). I had never met FM before, so we talked about our children, the school, the teachers, our neighbourhood, a little bit about our backgrounds & where we came from. It was polite chit-chat & nothing too personal - which I'm all for - I want to know what kind of families my kid's friends come from. And for all those critical of this, just wait until you have teenagers!
A couple of hours after all the kids went home FM shows up at my house on her way out to dinner. Her child left her hair accessory at my place (which I already found & was going to have M2 bring to school). What was odd about this was she brought her whole family...husband, both children, & her parents. No, they didn't sit in the car & wave - they came right up to my front door. She wanted to introduce them seeing that we live right around the block from one another. So we exchanged polite pleasantries & then FM suggested that we do lunch one day. 'How about this week? Which day works for you?'....A little blindsided yes, but I get it. She lives with her elderly parents & so do I. She did mention in our earlier conversation that we should have them meet. And I did also mention that I am currently not working, so getting out of a lunch date would have been awkward. So being the 'too' friendly person I am we made plans to do lunch that week. Have lunch, then two more weeks of school, and won't have to see them for a couple of months, right? So I thought...
We did have a very nice lunch and I did bring my in-laws as well. Our families do have a lot in common. And I am happy that we share some of the same principles & morals regarding how we raise our children.
A day later, FM texts me and ask which weekend in July will I be available as she'd like to have a BBQ & invite us. Now I'm starting to panic a little. How do I get out of this? I tell her to go ahead & pick a day and don't worry about accommodating us - if I am free I would l love to come. She replies back by giving me a choice of two dates & says "No rush just let me know which day works better for you".
I know I like this family. I am happy M2 has found a good friend who lives nearby. FM is probably thinking the same way, so why am I getting panicky & want to somehow get out of this BBQ? Then I had an AH HA moment! This relaionship/friendship is GOING TOO FAST for me! I realized that although I am a 'friendly' person, it takes time for me to become 'friends' with someone. And all this happened in a span of 4-5 days. As of now I still haven't replied to FM. I guess I'll have to soon....
YC
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