I had a conversation with someone recently about having children - or more specifically having more than one child. I know that these topics are usually very sensitive and personal but in this case I felt close enough to this person that we could have a light-hearted conversation about this without any hurt feelings and without getting argumentive while defending our views.
As a parent I feel very strongly that children should have siblings. Of course this view is shaped by my own families and my personal experiences. I have 2 siblings and The Big Oh has 4. Growing up my grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins lived close by. I remember having dim sum weekly and happily squishing 12-14 people around a table that was supposed to seat 10. There was also weekly mah-jong games my parents played with aunt and uncles while my cousins and I ran around the house like banshees! And it seemed we were attending a wedding, baby banquet, or birthday banquet every month! As a child I enjoyed the games and hanging out with all the kids, as a young adult I might have even been annoyed by all the family functions that interfered with my own social life. But now looking back, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
The Big Oh also had a similar childhood with even more uncles, aunts, and cousins than I. Now between my siblings and The Big Oh's our children have 13 cousins. They all live within relatively close driving distance and we make an effort to get together frequently. And of course, my girls have each other.
Our siblings help each other out with our parents health and finances. We are there to help babysit. There's always someone to help fix a toilet, move furniture, or ask advice on fixing or buying a car. We also cheer on and congratulate each other when one of us gets a raise or promotion, we celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, and milestones. We've fought, we've laughed and we've cried together. Sure, you can share all these things with best friends, but I've got the best of both worlds: amazing friends and a network of brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, and cousins - why wouldn't anyone want both if they could?
I've mentioned before that I've been sick, and without my family I really don't think I would be here today. So yes, I am biased - I think it would be terribly sad and lonely to be an only child. I know this isn't representative of all families or all brothers and sisters out there, but this is my experience, my family, and it is what I am grateful for today.
Y.C.
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